Shocker: Staten Island Genius Bar less crowded than SoHo

I was flipping through an issue of Time Out New York (TONY, to those in the know) the other day in a hospital waiting room (a place I am spending entirely too much time lately, hence my sporadic appearances here, but that's a story for another day) and I stumbled across a little experiment that TONY subjected some interns to. The test was simple: see if making the pilgrimage to the Apple Store at the Staten Island Mall to consult with an Apple Genius would still be quicker for the average NY'er than waiting for one in the SoHo Apple Store.

They started two interns with ailing iPods off at Washington Square Park on a Saturday afternoon and sent one to SoHo, a mere 15 minute walk away and one to the Staten Island Mall, which takes three different modes of transportation to get to (subway, ferry, then bus). Youyoung Lee was the SoHo designee. She raced down to the Apple Store only to be told that there was currently a 7 hour wait and that even if she waited, she still was unlikely to be seen since she had no appointment. And wouldn't you know it... there were no appointment slots left. On Sunday at noon when she went to Apple's website to make an appointment, she again found that there were no open slots left for the day. So she got up at 8am on Monday and was finally able to book an appointment for 1pm. Unfortunately, when she got to the store, she found that her name appeared nowhere on the list for the day! She inquired about why her appointment was gone and was told that some bonehead at the Genius Bar thought Youyoung Lee's name was a joke, so he deleted it. Finally, Lee was ushered to the front of the line where it took all of 10 minutes for them to tell her that her iPod was completely dead and unfixable. Elapsed time? 51 hours, 10 minutes.

Rachel Syme was the lucky one who got to go to Staten Island. While it took her almost 2 hours to get there, it was worth the trip. Once she arrived at the Apple Store in the SI Mall, she was grateful to see that no previous appointment was needed. She just typed her name into the system and 30 minutes later she was face to face with one of Apple's finest. Of course they couldn't fix her iPod either and it took her another 90 minutes to get back home, but her suffering was quick and painless compared to poor Youyoung Lee. Elapsed time? 3 hours, 15 minutes.

Now as an elitist New Yorker, I am often harsh on Staten Island. But I'll admit that the ferry ride is scenic, relaxing and you can't beat the price (free, as in beer). If taking a trip to SI saves me several days of hell, I'll take the trip. I'm an elitist, yes, but I'm no fool.