Microsoft marketer mulls misinformation

Microsoft's John Porcaro is fed up with the rumors spreading around the internet regarding the 360, so he decided to make a post to end it. Here's the rumors:

• Recall Rumors are 100% False; he wants you to let him know if any retailer tells you otherwise... so he can crack skulls!
• Replenishment Units Are On The Ground; that means that they're on the way to retailers and from that point it's contingent upon them to get them from warehouses into stores into your house, etc.
• Hardware Replacements in as Few as 5-7 Days; so if your 360 is overheating, get on the horn to 800-4MYXBOX and you'll be back to HD gaming goodness in a week or less.  Mmmmmmmm.
• We're Not Holding Back; he's saying there's no secret warehouse in China stocked to the brim, waiting until a week before xmas to unleash a torrent of 360s for Santa and Co.

So there you have it folks: there are no aliens in Roswell, nobody's breathing on the other end of the phone, and ther... wait.  What's that? Is that a disclaimer at the top of his site? It reads: "Even though I work in marketing for Microsoft, not everything accurately reflects the views of my employer, my management, my co-workers, or is even true." That means what he just said could have all been lies!?

So it is possible there's a secret shipment of 360s stored beneath a volcano in the Pacific Ocean?  I knew it!