Nintendo help for your fantasy baseball team

Dan Choi
D. Choi|03.11.06

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Screenshot from the original 8-bit Nintendo Baseball
Screenshot from the original 8-bit Nintendo Baseball
Screenshot from the original 8-bit Nintendo BaseballWhile we question the ability of McSweeney's to integrate classic Nintendo characters into a major-league squad, that's just the scouting report that's been released for this truly fantasy baseball roster.

For instance, you've got a young shortstop who spends way too much of his time with "fairies" in Link and the token female pitcher (albeit one with a built-in arm cannon) in Samus, but these inclusions will always be overshadowed by that of the stocky plumber stalked by rumors of steroid abuse. Way to go, Mario.

Then again, the most controversial cameo probably comes in the final comparison between Coach Donkey Kong and Ozzie Guillen with regards to DK's "inability to convey audible words or coherent directions to his team," as well as his willingness to back his players when there are close calls (and get thrown out of the game when the barrels start to roll). We hope no one gets overly offended by the reference, overt or unintended.

[Thanks, matthew]

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