We've been spending most of our free time feeding this dog radioactive kibble in a poorly thought out plan to make him 100 feet tall. Every night, we lay out an oversized bowl, filled to the brim with a dangerous concoction of kibble laced with some radioactive waste that Ludwig found out back. Every night the dog eats it and every morning he's the same size. Not sure that radioactive waste is radioactive at all. On to Plan B:
We'll instead focus our efforts on shrinking ourselves and then ascend this 195mm (that's about 7.7", yanks) Shadow of the Colossus figurine and plunge our (now shrunken) swords into its dense resin exterior. 'Course we'll need to order the thing from Japan first and, at ,290 (that's about $90, everyone), it's not coming cheap. Compared to the rough numbers we've been putting together, it's the shrinking machine and not the figurine that's going to set us back.
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