The definitive iPod/fruitcake smackdown

iPod? or Fruitcake? Let the facts speak for themselves.

10 Reasons why iPods beat Fruitcakes as Holiday Gifts

1. You can't play your music on a fruitcake.
2. Inserting earbuds into your fruitcake? Makes them all sticky and gooey.
3. iPods come in many colors and flavors. Fruitcakes are...brown.
4. You can't play video games on a fruitcake. (Or a Zune.)
5. Fruitcakes do not support smart playlists.
6. You can't really accessorize a fruitcake. Belkin doesn't offer a "fruitcake" section in its online store.
7. You can't watch the latest episode of Battlestar on a fruitcake.
8. Fruitcakes don't fit into your pocket.
9. Fruitcakes are unsuitable items to bring along with you to your workouts.
10. iPods? No crumbs.

10 Reasons why Fruitcakes beat iPods as Holiday Gifts

1. iPod price $249. Fruitcake price $21.99.
2. Fruitcakes need no frivolous accessories. They're usable exactly as produced.
3. You're less likely to waste your spending money at iTunes with a fruitcake.
4. Walk around wearing an iPod and everyone yawns. Walk around wearing a fruitcake and you're a trendsetter.
5. iPod: 2.5-inch color display. Fruitcake: 10-inch multifaceted-crystalized-fruit display.
6. You can't use an iPod as a football. Or a door stop.
7. Fruitcakes have no batteries to replace.
8. iPod: 7,500 songs. Fruitcake: the song in your heart, and the antacids in your medicine cabinet.
9. You can't call your enemy "nutty as an iPod". Well, you can. But nobody's going to understand you.
10. In all likelihood, your fruitcake will still be usable three years from now.