Today, on Not Getting the Joke theater

Elizabeth Wachowski
E. Wachowski|01.24.07

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Today, on Not Getting the Joke theater

An ordinary person, upon seeing a guy named "Griftah" selling "Amazing Amulets" in the Lower City of Shattrathfor very high prices, may think twice before buying the amulets. But Gazzle is no ordinary gnome. He spent 25 gold on the "Polished Pendant of Edible Energy" -- whose tooltip states "Focusing one's metabolism, this pendant allows the wearer to draw great energy from ordinary food and drink -- even heal wounds!" Upon equipping it and conjuring up some food and water, he discovered that he wasn't regening health and mana any faster. Disillusioned, he posted a "Shame on you, Blizzard" message on the WoW General forums and went off to try ... the other amulet he purchased.

A round of mocking follows in which a ton of people point out that the amulet does exactly what the tooltip says it does, and it's not the amulet's fault if the health and mana would regenerate anyway. It's kind of like purchasing a "Talisman of Protection from Crocodile Attacks" if you live in Minnesota -- hey, it must be working, because I haven't been attacked by crocodiles! Along those lines, Griftah also sells an "Infallible Tikbalang Ward," which protects you from Tikbalang attacks.

I agree with Tseric -- let the buyer beware on these items. Or, as another poster states, "I prefer to think of it as a stupid tax."

According to Allakhazam, Griftah also sells:

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  • A Talisman of True Treasure Tracking, which allows you to get loot from mobs, for 35g.
  • A Compassionate Critter's Friend, which keeps you from being attacked by the bunnies, cats, and other vicious Level 1 critters roaming the world, for 20g.
  • A Stone of Stupendous Springing Strides, which lets you jump, for 35g.
  • A Marvelous Madstone of Immortality, which lets you rez after running back to your corpse, for 40g.
  • A Charm of Potent and Powerful Passions, which says it will let you win your heart's desire, for 30g.
  • A Shark's Tooth of Bona Fide Fluidic Mobility, which allows you to swim, for 15g.
  • And finally, Soap on a Rope, which is pretty much just soap on a rope, for the bargain price of 1g.

I sort of want to get the Soap on a Rope for my guildmates. Maybe after I get a flying mount. Have you bought any of these items, or laughed at a guildmate who got swindled?

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