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Mortal Kombat coming to the DS

That's a classic.

We would call this the series that just won't die ... but, as Nintendo fanboys, we're actually surrounded by those far older. Yes, yet another installment of MK is coming to the DS, courtesy of Midway; rather predictably, we know almost nothing about it. The only comment given: "it [won't be] a direct port of a previous title, it [won't] be a brand-new game either."

This leaves the only remaining option: indirect port. It involves a wormhole and superstring theory. Our best guess? A port of an SNES or Playstation version of Mortal Kombat, complete with OMGawesome stylus control and a couple new characters thrown in for good measure. Meh.