How to beat Gears of War and save $60

The Onion (yes, the parody newswire) tells the story of one frugal Gears of War enthusiast named Ronald Franks. You see, Franks likes Gears, but not enough to spend $60 on it. We're not even sure he actually owns a 360; maybe just a memory card.

"Ronald Franks could be as little as two Best Buy visits away from completing the Xbox 360 video game Gears of War, Franks said Tuesday. 'I told [wife] Susan not to expect me for dinner tonight, because right now I'm at the Train Wreck and I'm about to take on a Berserker,' said Franks, 35, who has been playing the game daily for nearly three weeks [at the store] and brings his own memory card from home. 'I'm thinking I can get through that pretty quickly because I'll use my sniper rifle.'"

The economical Franks also won't budge for a $20 strategy guide. Rather, he takes a legal pad to Barnes & Noble for a copy fest of the official strategy guide. That's one way to do it.

[via Amazon]