The Political Game: Dear ESA n00b
Each week Dennis McCauley contributes The Political Game, a column on the collision of politics and video games:
The following is an IM exchange that I wish I had with Michael Gallagher, who took over as new head of the ESA on Tuesday:
Me: yo, u there?
ESA n00b: yup
Me: how's the new office?
ESA n00b: nice, but @#%$!*&!&! Lowenstein took the stapler with him ...
Me: bummer. Did he leave any CD's around? Doug was big into 70's music.
ESA n00b: no CD's ... just an autographed picture of some guy named Thompson
Me: ewww .... Want some advice?
ESA n00b: um ... sure
Me: I know you're hired to represent the big game publishers, but don't forget about the gamers
ESA n00b: wait now, the who????
Me: Dude, "The Who" is one of those 70's bands that Lowenstein liked so much. I'm talking about GAMERS, the people who buy the games from EA, Nintendo etc. They sorta pay your salary ... for that nice office and power lunch ...
ESA n00b: o right. I heard about them.
Me: Don't let your publisher buds dump on gamers
ESA n00b: Dump on them like how?
Me: crappy sequels, games based on stupid movies, monopolizing sports licenses so they can jack up game prices, ripping people off for overpriced downloads. Stuff like that ...
ESA n00b: oic ... what else you got?
Me: that guy Thompson ... don't be afraid of challenging him like Doug was.
ESA n00b: I ain't afraid of nobody, dude. You forget I worked for the Bush Administration. Hell, I'll launch an invasion ... look for some WMD if I have to ... LOL
Me: ROFL ... but really, Miami Jack craves the media spotlight ...
ESA n00b: ... okay, sorta like Rumsfeld then ...
Me: ... so if you don't offer some counterpoint, all people hear is his nonsense
ESA n00b: um, wait, isn't this guy suing the game biz for like a bazillion $$$ or something?
Me: 1.2 billion ... a couple of those "GTA made me do it" cases ...
ESA n00b: yeah, my frat bro had a GTO in college. Classic ride ... Detroit heavy metal -- nuthin else like it ...
Me: uh, yeah ... hey and watch out for the politicians, I don't have to tell YOU that ...
ESA n00b: heh ... damn Democrats ...
Me: well, it's the Republicans too ... Brownback in the Senate, Upton in the House ... they're both on the warpath about game ratings
ESA n00b: dude, I know those guys!
Me: I figured you did ... hey, I gotta roll. My WoW guild is forming up for a raid.
ESA n00b: what's a WoW guild?
Me: You've got a lot to learn ... but one last thing.
ESA n00b: huh
Me: your bosses, the publishers ... some of them will put out controversial games and then play duck and cover so you get stuck taking the heat
ESA n00b: no way!
Me: Way ... Call them on it ...don't let a rogue publisher F it up for everyone else. Ever heard of Hot Coffee?
ESA n00b: Damn straight. There's a Starbucks right across the street ...
Me: ah, you'll learn ... just don't wait until you're on your way out the door to kick some ass like Doug finally did. This ship needs a strong captain...
ESA n00b: right ... now those gamers you mentioned ... do they have a website or something?
Me: (sigh) cya, Mike... good luck with the new gig ...
ESA n00b: l8r
Dennis McCauley is the Political Editor for the Entertainment Consumers Association (www.theeca.com), tracks the political side of video games at GamePolitics.com and writes about games for the Philadelphia Inquirer. Opinions expressed in The Political Game are his own. Reach him at
