Joystiq live at THQ's E3 07 press conference

By Kyle Orland
9:19AM PDT – After waiting in line for over half an hour we're here in the front row of the press briefing room. Stay tuned for all the announcements as they happen.

9:29AM PDT – Liz Pierre, VP of communications gets things started. "Ladies?" WWE babes appear on screen and writhe around seductively. Then one appears on stage to much applause from the sycophantic audience.
9:32 AM PDT - Another babe has appeared on stage and stood there awkwardly. Apparently the woman above is Michelle, the WWE champion. The other one is from Smackdown ... she's the girl next door. "We came to play," they cry seductively.

9:34 AM PDT – A virtual John Sienna appear on screen for a walkout. Graphics look a little bit last-gen, with a lot of hard edges ... is this PS2 version? No .. it's actually on the Wii! Lots of loading too.

9:36AM PDT – The girls are flailing around with their Wii remotes on stage. The wrestlers on screen do stuff that doesn't necessarily correspond to their action. Mainly they roll around on the mat ...

9:39AM PDT – A guy in a referee's outfit admits that he's not Vince McMahon or the Foot Locker guy. He's Bobby, Senior VP of Marketing. "Three different unique game experiences across six different platforms." One for Wii, one for PS3/360, one for portable.

9:40AM PDT – "The Conan Universe consists of three things, blood babes and brutality. But let's take a look for ourself. Meet Conan." In an ancient world where mercy has no place one man had no equal Blood will be spilled,

9:41AM PDT – Conan puts a hydra through the head with a spear, falls off a cliff, fights a giant squid, hordes of generic enemies, etc. Very reminiscent of God of War, but the edges still look a little rough.

9:43AM PDT – Another VP comes out to pimp lot of new original IP coming from THQ studios. Frontlines: Fuel of War is first — THQ's first war game of this type. "We'll have six more by next year." [Clarification: He was just kidding]
9:48AM PDT – Developers come out to talk about game. In this world the global energy crisis has fully come to pass. Demo shows a raid on an ICBM facility. Your forces and enemies are split by a distinct "front line" on a simplified map. Protagonist can choose from a tank or helicopter — he goes for the air strike (of course!) The demo looks very rough, with some major frame rate issues and low-polygon environments.

9:49AM PDT – Developer calls in an air strike to take out some enemy forces. He guides the strikes from a turret. Every weapon is based on real military technology. He shows an RC drone helicopter that's being prototyped now — extrapolating 20 years in the future, they figure it'll be real.

9:52AM PDT – Next up is Destroy All Humans! Path of the Furon. There's a specific version for the Wii, with a different one for other next-gen consoles. John Knowles, creative director, shows off a video. Setting is in the '70s this time. Five new environments — Vegas, Hollywood, Paris, and "another world far far away" (also one other I missed)

9:55AM PDT – Krypto finds his way into a Kung Fu monastery. "Tell me who's been messing with my life or I'll crack you open with a fortune cookie." Oh Krypto. You ham. The demo continues with telekenesis, anal probes and "monk bowling," which is pretty much what you expect.

9:58AM PDT - The controls are streamlined to allow for simultaneous use of jet packs, weapons, items etc. Flying saucer death ray leaves persistent scars across the world. The saucers "tornado-tron" send out a tornado (duh!) that the humans will think is just an act of god. Which isn't too far from the truth, in this case.

9:59AM PDT – Every building is fully destructible, some stretch 30 and 40 stories high! A bomb takes out three or four city blocks. "Hehehe, good times huh." Yes, Krypto. Good times indeed.

10:03AM PDT – "We have twelve different racing games in production, just like every other publisher." No, not really, but Moto GP, Stuntman Ignition and MX vs. ATV Untamed are among the many they have coming. Stuntman looks al ot like the first game, with movie style stunts in a variety of different stock genres. Graphics have a little more polish, though. A game who's name a didn't catch shows of a lot of car porn and, er, actual porn with barely clothed ladies writhing around.

10:04AM PDT - Video of the new MX vs. ATV game looks very impressive — Motorstorm style graphics. Not clear if it's pre-rendered or gameplay — probably the former.

10:06AM PDT – De Blob gameplay demo next. "He's a multi-colored revolutionary. He's a nice guy, he's a tough guy, but he's a hero." He's fighting a corporation that sucks the fun and color out of the world. "Let's get messy!" reads the tagline.

10:08AM PDT – Nice, rounded black and white graphics, with color added by the blob. Nunchuk does movement, remote flicks you around. Blob grabs paint and, uh, paints stuff. Very Katamari. Blob adds music to the world as he paints.

10:09AM PDT – Blob can also transform buildings — turned a building into a music house. "It's basically your own work of art you're playing here." Each color has a different music attached — purple is wawa pedal for instance. He's getting into quite the nice rhythm.

10:10AM PDT – "Combat ... is like popping bubble wrap ... very satisfying." Jump and smash, basically. Game is playable on the floor, we'll try and give you some impressions.

10:12AM PDT – Vigil Games devs come out to talk about Darksiders. Action adventure games for 360 and PS3 where you control War, one of the four horsemen. Very nice Image comics style concept art. "You'll be killing demons, you'll be killing angels on your quest for revenge and getting your powers back."

10:15AM PDT – Gameplay demo shows a huge orange ... crab .. thing that writhes around in attacks/pain. You can call your mythical horse and string sword/horseback combos. The crab thing knocks down a clock tower. War can pick up cars, bigger things later on, a la Crackdown. "He's the embodiment of War and destruction, so we wanted the player to feel they could use anything to take out their enemies." Not just melee combat, War has guns too.

10:19AM PDT -The recently acquired Ultimate Fighting Championship license is being exploited with a UFC game, of course. Current light-heavyweight champion comes out and threatens a THQ employee for his chain, basically. "How ya'll doing tonight. Oh, it's not tonight .. my bad."

10:21AM PDT – Wow. The pre-rendered trailer shows some extremely realistic (and sweaty) shirtless male fighters performing some standard UFC moves. If gameplay looks anything like that, we'll be impressed. And amazed.

10:22AM PDT – "If you all ain't watching UFC, you sleeping. What are you watching, ballerina's or something?" Are those the only choices? And with that we're told to go off and enjoy the show. And we will!

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