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What really happened to the boat crews

Michael Gray
June 16, 2008
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The boats that ferry us across Azeroth are near and dear to everyone. It could be our inner pirate, eager to plunder the lubbers and scallywag some seaports. Certainly, everyone knows the tale of Captain Placeholder. The Azeroth Triangle has stolen other victims, though -- the ship's crews have been missing, hinted at returning, and then still missing.

In a series of pithy moments last week, Nethaera and Eyonix revealed the sad fate of the fearless crews. It wasn't, as Neth originally claimed, workplace safety hazards that caused the vendors to go AWOL. According to Eyonix, the sight of so many poledancing Blood Elves harrowed the seamen such that they were forced to plunge to icy depths and ultimately drown. Captain Placeholder, Eyonix jokes, is the human form of Deathwing.

I don't care if Eyonix disclaims two or three times that it was a joke -- for me, this is now lore and canon. Captain Placeholder is Deathwing, and I don't care what anyone else has to say about it. Clearly, he killed the boat crews to protect that secret. I fear for the fate of Eyonix for letting this spoiler into the public eye.

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