- When Michael Pachter gets the Red Ring of Death, he sends Microsoft a coffin.
- Publications often misrepresent Michael Pachter as a "Wedbush Morgan Analyst." No company can contain Michael Pachter.
- Michael Pachter willed the Dreamcast to its destruction. No one can cast dreams except Michael Pachter.
- There is a little-known seventh ESRB rating: P. It stands for Pachter. P-rated games can only be played by the awesome.
- Michael Pachter has learned to suppress the pon farr. He's that logical.
Michael Pachter recently. But, how can the internet blame us? The man is such an important figure. Not only to the video game industry, but to the current state of humanity. Inspired by Harmonix's Alex Navarro, the facts of Michael Pachter's importance were spoken across the Twitterverse and compiled by one Jared Newman. A small sampling:
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