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Apple giving huge discounts on Black Friday? No way!

The boy geniuses over at Boy Genius Report are getting a lot of hits out of a story they ran late yesterday. Apparently, one of their contacts tipped them to a "shot of Apple's yearly Black Friday deals" that is "reported to be something Apple will email out shortly." The email (seen at right, pasted with an editorial comment from yours truly) shows alleged discounts of up to 30% on all iPods (excluding iPhone or iPod shuffle), up to 25% on all Macs, and up to 15% on all accessories, Apple software, and Apple hardware. This will only happen on November 27th and apparently "select" Apple stores will open at 6 AM.


Well, most of us here at TUAW are pretty sure this is a fake. A compelling fake, mind you, but an utter fabrication. Why?

First reason -- Apple almost never discounts their products, other than selling refurbished equipment on the cheap. That's part of the reason that the company is so successful and has the highest margins in the personal electronics and computing world. Discounts of "up to 25% on all Macs" are an Apple fanboy's most exciting dream (next to the iTablet, of course), but we doubt if the Cupertino Kids would discount anything more than 5%.

Reason two -- Apple Stores are, for the most part, hugely popular anyway. Apple doesn't need to drag in customers on Black Friday by enticing them with wicked discounts. Let's face it, most of the Apple Stores are going to be packed on November 27th, so why would Apple want to create traffic jams and general hysteria by doing something like this? Hell, most of the Apple retail employees would probably quit during Black Friday, leaving the company in the lurch for the rest of the holiday season.

Number three -- Historical precedence shows that Apple usually provides discounts on Black Friday, but not as big as BGR is indicating. In 2006, Apple provided free shipping to shoppers at the online store. Last year, Best Buy discounted up to US$150 on Macs and Apple matched that, but there was no steenkin' 25% discount.

And finally, reason number four -- Apple's probably not going to send out anything with that much blank space at the top of it. They're too picky about design. They don't want someone to have to scroll down through an email to read the discounts, even if there is an Apple logo floating around at the top of the email.

How sure are we that this isn't going to happen? Well, if it actually happens the way Boy Genius Report says it will, I'll wear a Boy Genius Report baseball cap (provided by BGR, of course) for four hours at Macworld Expo 2010 and give you guys some free advertising. TUAW readers -- what do you think about the discounts? Are they going to happen or not?