In-game models I would change if I could

Allison Robert
A. Robert|12.30.09

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In-game models I would change if I could
In the transition to Cataclysm, an increasing amount of the game looks pretty dated, and we've already see Blizzard take a wrench to a number of models like druid forms and major lore figures. I've been hoping for a while that they'll do the same with the game's earliest and most dated models -- the ones that haven't changed a whit since the classic game hit beta -- and particularly the following. All of them are a jarring difference from the graphical quality of Northrend creations, and only stand to get more so in Cataclysm:

1. The wyvern

The wyvern is the model from which Blizzard cribbed the horrifying older version of Tauren cat form, but it was already awful in its own right. Compared to gryphons, wyverns look...well...terrible. They have a host of much less impressive and realistic animations and just seem like they're a lower-resolution model overall. The run animation on the player mount version makes it obvious that the thing was never meant to run, and the top of its head looks like somebody took an experimental swing at it with a frying pan. I have yet to see a Horde player fly one of these monstrosities longer than they absolutely have to.

Dear God, someone please put this affront to nature out of its misery.

2. Humans

I doubt this comes as any surprise to the legion of people out there who hate the Human model. Terrible, stiff, clunky animations and hands that look like giant oven mitts add up to a /wince-worthy effect, but I think it's the harelip on the male version that bugs me the most. Please, nothing that makes one think that the ingame Humans are all living in rural Shropshire in the 19th century running around yelling, "It mun be frommet, Kester!" when not occupied with kobolds.

3. Orcs

Orcs have much cooler animations than their Human brethren, but still suffer from the same increasingly elderly design and oven-mitt hand construction. Also, I'd pay for a female Orc model where a braid doesn't fly straight through a shield every time the damn character so much as moves a muscle.

4. Hippogryphs

Great animations, and a resounding /cheer for finally implementing a really cool walk/run in patch 3.3, but hippogryphs are still in terrible need of a graphics upgrade. The wings aren't that bad, but the tail looks like someone spray-painted a banana and stapled it to their rears. Could something also be done about the back legs? Come to think of it, the entire rear-half of the hippogryph just needs an overhaul, period. Shriveled legs and a banana tail do not scream champion of the Argent Tournament, they scream discount purchase at Crazy Eddie's Mounts 4 Less, with another 10% off for the wonky antlers.

5. Female Troll faces

All player-character female Trolls look the same, and that's because there's only one face option not currently stricken by demonic possession. Female Horde characters already have fewer customization options overall than their male counterparts (unless you're a Blood Elf), and this a particularly annoying touch for Trolls.

These are the ones that came immediately to mind while considering the latest /wince moments I've had ingame, but people who play Alliance more could probably come up with another set.
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