Two Bosses Enter: Vanessa VanCleef vs. Zanzil

Mathew McCurley
M. McCurley|10.17.11

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Two Bosses Enter: Vanessa VanCleef vs. Zanzil
In Two Bosses Enter, WoW Insider's series of fantasy death matches, the bosses of World of Warcraft face off in the squared circle. Your vote determines who wins and claims the season title.

Lord Godfrey is moving on to the final matchup after a solid win against his opponent Foe Reaper 5000. Despite the mechanical reaper's resilience through the tournament and his hardcore following, Lord Godfrey's twin pistols dismantled every nut, bolt, and gizmo. Foe Reaper 5000, we hardly knew ye. Lord Godfrey will now have to face either Vanessa VanCleef or Zanzil in the final matchup of this season of Two Bosses Enter.

I can guarantee that this matchup between Vanessa VanCleef and Zanzil will be the most epic match of this season of Two Bosses Enter. Sure, the finals are coming up, and that will definitely be an epic matchup, but these are the two biggest heavy hitters of the tournament. Will fanboy favorite Vanessa VanCleef be able to best the coolest Troll to rule the school since Zul'jin? Poison master versus potion master. This one is for the history books.


The rules of the ring
  • The WoW Insider Ring is considered neutral territory, where both combatants are able to access their usual encounter mechanics and abilities. If you can't visualize it inside the squared circle, visualize it someplace else -- but you must take into consideration all of each bosses' abilities and mechanics.
  • Assume that each opponent is intelligent and capable of strategic thinking.
  • All of the competitors' abilities, including crowd control and other effects to which bosses are usually immune, work on their opponents (with apologies to considerations of lore on this point).
  • Assume that the opponents share similar levels, health pools, and comparative overall damage output.
  • Don't get caught up in gameplay mechanics and what actual players might do in each encounter.
  • Don't neglect style, story, and scale. Everything is a factor; seeking balance is your goal as a spectator and judge.
In Corner One: Vanessa VanCleef

Vanessa VanCleef. Love her or hate her, she's been dominating the tournament with her sassy attitude, poison experience, and lack of pants. Plus, she's a pretty compelling character. Vanessa has a big fan base of followers (she'd be huge on Twitter) as well as the talents to tear down opponents (she would be in real-world prison). There will be no shenanigans this year with VanCleef's prodigious daughter -- all the cards are on the table.

Vanessa VanCleef's toolkit includes:

In Corner Two: Zanzil

Cauldron master and master Troll Zanzil comes into this matchup with a wave of support from the contingent of readers who just don't want to see VanCleef take the tournament. However, Zanzil is strong in his own right, with skills and tricks that could give VanCleef a run for her money. Is she even old enough to get a job and earn money? Can she open a savings account at the First Bank of Stormwind? Her dad probably built the place ...

Zanzil is one of the few Trolls who fought the status quo that readers and players alike just don't like the Zul bosses. Many Trolls have fallen to combatants in this season, but Zanzil has bucked the trend. Can his luck hold out?

Zanzil's abilities include:
Last Week's Winner: Lord Godfrey

Whirrrs and spins just couldn't take out ghouls and guns as Lord Godfrey fires his way into our hearts and into the Two Bosses Enter finals. I was hoping that Godfrey would take this fight, considering I think he is the more compelling character than Foe Reaper.

SirNitram had some choice words for Godfrey:
Godfrey might be big and bad, indeed, a refined and better class of villain. But he's run into a fatal flaw: He brought a handgun to a giant-robot fight. Sure he has fancy cursed bullets, but unless he scores a lucky hit on the unknown soul hiding in that behemoth of SCIENCE, it won't stop him from being harvested.
In the beginning, I thought the pistols and relatively low-tech solutions to Foe Reaper's high-tech moves seem like the perfect counter. Godfrey's bullet barrages would have to hit something of importance and put a little wear and tear on Foe Reaper. As long as Godfrey is nimble enough, Foe Reaper just might not be able to have the range of attack he needs.

Bumblebee likes Godfrey because he's a rogue's rogue:
Godfrey wins for a few reasons. He has style, he has taken on Sylvanas and won, he has already proven he is badass. He lies, he cheats and knows how to pick his fights. He is a true Rogue. And Rogues don't get mad, they get even.
I have to admit, Godfrey won me over, and Bumblebee's comment about his stabbing (shooting) Sylvanas in the back does give him the smarts to best a machine. Brains over brawn, and all that jazz.

Finally, Saf's battle, taking place in an alternate dimension between Lord Gorfred and Foe Reaper 2000, was one of the more epic descriptions of the awesome fight. Just replace 2000 with 5000 -- it works the same. (Commenters, I love you all.)
Godfrey entered the arena, and gazed upon a Forge, a Prototype Reaper, and the Foe Reaper 2000, set up so that the Forge was directly behind the Foe Reaper 2000.

Before Godfrey could speak, The Foe Reaper jerked upright, with its two mechanical eyes glowing red as it says "FOE REAPER 2000 ONLINE. ALL SYSTEMS NOMINAL." A stray spark shot off of Foe Reaper 2000 however, and struck the Forge, causing its contents to heat up and boil.

The Foe Reaper immediately began a sweep of the room, looking for any organic being it could harvest, when it spotted Godfrey. Its servos activate as it rushes to Godfrey's position. However, Godfrey was already on the move, and began strafing the Foe Reaper 2000 with pistol shots as he ran. With every lunge, the Foe Reaper 2000 would stop, turn until it could acquire Godfrey, and charge; but each time, Godfrey would just side-step, or roll, or dodge the attacks.

After approximately 30 seconds of this, the Forge started to bubble up with molten slag, producing a Fire Elemental. Godfrey attempted to shoot it, but his bullets just went right through, without even causing a reaction from the elemental. Knowing that if he stood still long enough to summon his ghouls, the Foe Reaper would shred him, he decided to just kite both the elemental and Foe Reaper. Luckily for him though (or unluckily, your choice) the Foe Reaper 2000 started to activate his Overdrive engine. Godfrey knew that with Foe Reaper bouncing all over the arena, kiting would be impossible, so he took the opportunity to summon up some ghouls for a distraction, and sent some Cursed Bullets Foe Reaper's way.

By this point, Godfrey has not been touched yet, while Foe Reaper is sporting a very hole-y exterior. As Foe Reaper's Overdrive engines wound down, Godfrey found himself in the perfect position to let loose a Pistol Barrage, which severely damaged Foe Reaper 2000's exterior, and took out one of Foe Reaper's eyes.

"TARGETTING SYSTEM DAMAGED. MAIN SERVO ENGINES DAMAGED. SAFETY RESTRICTIONS OFF-LINE." Now, Foe Reaper 2000 began moving at about double speed, making it much harder for Godfrey to dodge its attacks. Not to mention that the Fire Elemental had now finished off all of Godfrey's ghouls. So Godfrey decided to take a chance, and manoeuvred himself between Foe Reaper 2000 and the Forge. Then, as the Foe Reaper would up for another charge, Godfrey took aim and shot out Foe Reaper's last eye.

With that hit, Foe Reaper 2000 stopped moving, swung its body around twice to attempt to remove the obstacle that it thought was blocking its view, and stated "TARGETTING SYSTEM RENDERED INOPERABLE. COMPUTING TARGET'S LAST POSITION. ENGAGING HARVESTING SERVOS."


Godfrey stood casually at the side of the arena as the Foe Reaper charged head-long into the forge, took out the Fire Elemental that stood in the way, fell into the molten slag, and shorted out as he began to melt almost immediately.

"Ok Tirion, when can I fight an actual semi-human being? These machines are too dumb to be a challenge..."
Don't disappoint me, Two Bosses Enter fans. Let's make next week's matchup the most voted-on matchup in the history of the column.


The battle begins!

Remember, Two Bosses Enter matchups are all about substance and style, not gameplay, mechanics, and numbers. Don't base your strategies on player tactics, which opponent has been easiest or most difficult for you personally, or the difficulty of each opponent relative to instance progression. Vote for the spirit of the battle as set forth above. Set aside differences in opponents' health pools, game level, and actual damage output. Absolutely no game mechanics nitpicking!

Set aside the world order -- let the WoW Insider Ring determine who's the champion! Your votes determine the outcome in WoW Insider's series of fantasy deathmatches, Two Bosses Enter, One Boss Leaves.
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