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Rumor Roundup: 'Deafening buzz'

"April showers bring May flowers." This old phrase refers to rain showers, but it could just as easily apply to the shower of "analysis" and rumors regarding Apple and its products. You could print any one of these stories out and use it to fertilize your lawn.

Apple expected to report record revenues - but falling earnings (9to5 Mac)

According to Fortune, "The bad news is that every analyst we've surveyed -- even the most bullish -- believes that for the first time in a decade Apple (AAPL) will report that its income this quarter was lower than the same quarter the year before."

The good news is that financial analysts have absolutely no clue what they're talking about when it comes to Apple.

Why the budget iPhone would throw the smartphone market into chaos (BGR)

"The buzz around the budget iPhone has grown deafening, with new reports about the device coming out on a weekly basis."

The "buzz" certainly is deafening. Almost as deafening as the lack of any substantiating evidence that this product exists at all. The idea behind this product doesn't even make sense -- it's allegedly a cheaper, cut-rate version of the existing iPhone designed to increase Apple's market share at the expense of its profits. Do any of the people writing about this supposed "budget iPhone" pay any attention whatsoever to how Apple actually operates?

That was a rhetorical question.

Apple analyst Gene Munster still clinging to HDTV this year, warns no major product announcements until June iPhone 5S launch (9to5 Mac)

Munster was demonstrably wrong in his prediction of a March launch for the Retina display iPad mini, so it's an open question why we should take any of his other predictions seriously.

Digitimes says Apple is working on a 4K TV for either later this year or early next year (9to5 Mac)

Give 9to5 Mac a hand for including Digitimes' name in the headline, thus making it unnecessary to read the article at all to determine whether or not this rumor has the slightest chance of coming true.

Apple Cutting iPad Mini Shipments in Q2 2013 to Prepare for Next Generation? (MacRumors)

"Digitimes is reporting that" -- BZZZZZT! WRONG!

Apple's ceramic device housing could be used in low-cost iPhone (AppleInsider)

Exhibit A: a patent filing. Exhibit B: Some analyst's wild guesses based on that patent filing. 404 error, actual news not found.

iPhone 5S announcement rumored for June 20th, launch in July (BGR)

By this point, the rumor blogs have predicted the next iPhone will launch in every month between now and the end of the year. I'd like to see these guys at a roulette wheel in Vegas. "$500 on red. And $500 on black, too. C'mon, red or black! Daddy needs a new pair of shoes!"

Exclusive: Apple will launch an official gaming joypad soon (PocketGamer)

Exclusive: nope.

Biting the hand that feeds you: why are record labels fighting Pandora? (The Verge)

Buried within this article are assertions that "iRadio" is definitely coming out this year. If you just got a sudden blast of déjà vu, that's because people have been saying Apple will "definitely" launch a streaming music service "this year" for several years in a row.