TUAW overanalyzes Apple's October 22 iPad event invitation

Apple sent out the official invitations to its October 22 event today, and as usual, it's filled with subtle hidden messages.

We've put on our detective caps and come up with a list of secret hints that are hidden within Apple's seemingly simple picture and text that should shed some light on what we can expect to see later this month.

First, let's examine the artwork:

1. The various colored Apple leaves on the background signify that the event is taking place in fall, when leaves change color and fall from the trees. Since the event has been confirmed for October 22, we already know we're 100 percent correct.

2. The new iPad and iPad mini will come in different colors. Probably a million of them. Or five.

3. The large white leaf in the foreground means that Apple is going to release an all-new iPad line that is larger than the current standard iPad. It's going to be called the iPad maxi, and it's going to come only in white.

4. The Apple logo that is cut in half tells us that all the new iPads will weigh half as much as the previous models. That's pretty neat.

5. I counted 35 different colored petals on the background. There might be more. Or less. I don't know, and I'm not counting again. Anyway, you can expect 35 different slides in Apple's on-screen presentation.

6. The overall colorful vibe of the invitation art should also make it pretty obvious that we should be on the lookout for a David Cassidy special edition iPad with Partridge Family graphics. Come on, get happy!

Now let's pick apart the text:

1. "We" means that for the first time ever, Apple will invite regular audience members on stage to help show off the products. Like a family. But without the drunk uncle.

2. "Still" is a tough one, but I think I've figured it out: "Still" means not moving, and when water is still, it is flat and glass-like. That means that the glass screens on the new iPads will be waterproof.

3. "Have" means you're going to have to have a new iPad. Or you're not cool.

4. "A" is the first letter of the alphabet. The leader, you might say. Apple is the leader of the consumer tablet market. A coincidence? I think not.

5. Apple is going to sell a "Lot" of them.

6. "To" = Two. You should buy two of them so you can sell the other one on eBay for a huge profit at launch. Especially if there's a gold one.

7. "Cover" means exactly what you think it means: Smart Cover 2.0 confirmed!