I've been doing my best to ignore the outrage over the Fisher-Price iPad Apptivity Seat since I started seeing it pop up on social networks for one simple reason: I knew full well that the people freaking out over this particular product had no idea what kinds of iPad/iPhone-compatible baby products were actually being sold out there.
Allow me to take you down the rabbit hole, after which you'll see the Apptivity Seat as one of the most easily excusable of the bunch.
Exercise for your baby... with a dose of ADD
Another entry from Fisher-Price, the Apptivity Gym, features adorable plastic toys hanging down for your baby to play with -- you know, like baby toys have done for decades. Oh, and there's also an iPhone holder embedded in the center of it to encourage your young one to ignore the actual physical toys that would provide said exercise. Logic.
An adorable stuffed animal with an iPhone embedded in its chest
Fisher-Price is really on a roll it seems, as this "Laugh and Learn Puppy" is equal parts fluffy stuffed animal and Apple smartphone. Ignoring the fact that having a hard plastic case around a metal smartphone pretty much negates the whole point of a stuffed animal in the first place, this toy will guarantee that your child will ignore every other toy that doesn't also include a technological component.
OK, Fisher-Price isn't even trying anymore
This "Laugh and Learn iPhone Case" doesn't even try to be anything less than a colorful, overly bulky iPhone case disguised as a kids toy. Want your baby to give up any hope of playing with actual toys ever again? Just give them your iPhone, apparently.
Potty training with a dose of iPad
Yeah, it's not just Fisher-Price that's doing this kind of thing: The "CTA Digital 2-in-1 iPotty Seat" is about as obnoxious as it gets. When it comes time to teach your young one how to go to the bathroom like a grown-up, you should probably get them started on everyone's favorite potty pastime while at the same time ignoring any and all important parental guidance or motivation.
It's worth noting that while the Apptivity Seat has gotten absolutely destroyed in the Amazon reviews section since the web caught wind of it, the rest of these products are rated quite highly (with far fewer overall reviews). If we're going to decide that children half a year old shouldn't be spending their time tapping away at an iPad screen (and no, they shouldn't be; stop it), we should at least keep these things in perspective.