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TUAW over-analyzes the Apple event invitation


Shortly after @jdalrymple announced to the world that the invitations for the September 10, 2013 Apple event had been sent out, TUAW Editor-in-Chief Victor Agreda, Jr. noted that @HereIsTrev had tweeted the following message: "Please don't over analyse every last aspect of the apple invite ... oh, too late." Here's our take on the invitation, BuzzFeed-style:

  1. There are 25 full or partial circles on the invitation (I counted). 25 is the square of five, which means that the "S" in iPhone 5S means "Five-squared."
  2. Of course, these colors represent the spectrum of case colors for your new iPhone.
  3. Only two of the circles are green, which Greenpeace should take notice of as it means that the new iPhone is ruining the environment.
  4. The four empty circles are representative of the loss of Steve Jobs, Scott Forstall, John Browett and (most recently) Bob Mansfield from the executive ranks of Apple.
  5. Blue is the most prevalent color on the invitation, which proves that Bondi Blue will be one of the colors for the new iPhone.
  6. The phrase "brighten everyone's day" is all about the new display technology for the iPhone, which will be incredibly readable in full sunlight.
  7. Many of the overlapping circles appear to be Venn diagrams. We are doing our best to determine what that means...
  8. The fact that Apple couldn't come up with a color for its logo in the center is a sign that the company is fresh out of innovative ideas.
  9. Tracing the path of the colored dots reveals a new gesture that'll conjure up the spirit of Steve Jobs.
  10. The dots are stylized fingerprints, meaning that the new iPhone will feature a fingerprint-authentication feature.
  11. The dot-filled invite also suggests iOS 7 will be sponsored by America's favorite candy, DOTS. See Android KitKat for context.
  12. The thin font used on the invite hints at a thinner bezel for the iPhone display.
  13. The multiple colors used on the invite suggest Apple will surprise us with multi-user support in a subsequent version of iOS 7.x.
  14. Those round circles are indicative of pixels on the screen of Apple's long-awaited HDTV, which will be known as "Munstervision" in honor of the one man who believed in the product, Gene Munster.

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