Why can't the biggest social network on the planet code an app correctly?

How many times have you or someone you know derided the quality of Facebook's apps for iOS? Granted, they have come a long way from the ugly, web view, slow, garbage app of just a couple years ago, but considering Facebook now wants users to download a suite of apps to accomplish ordinary tasks on its service, you'd think the company (which is publicly traded) would get its act together on the myriad apps we now must use to do anything via Facebook.

I recently switched to Paper, for example. It combines messaging and news posts into one app and generally looks good doing it. I could do without the whimsical-as-in-a-drunk-uncle-at-Thanksgiving photo views, where you have to tilt the phone to see all of a photo. You can tap on a photo, but then you can't pinch to zoom — essentially Facebook has broken the interaction model established by Apple seven years ago. Because "cool reasons", I'm sure. Anyway, Paper's real folly comes in the neutered suite of tools you get.

If you enjoy using Facebook for events, you'll utterly loathe Paper. There's no way to create an event, and no way to see what you've agreed to attend. There are lots of other little dumb things in Paper, like the "hamburger" menu item which doesn't actually produce a submenu (as it would on 99.999% of all other apps in existence) but instead gives you an almost useless list of groups stretching back to your early days in Facebook with little rhyme or reason to the list order. What a waste of pixels.

So now I still have to launch the Facebook app to see events. Why there's no Events app is a mystery that I suppose only the most vocal stockholders can some day examine.

Then there's Messenger. You'd think that a billion-dollar company who forced all users to download an extraneous app to message each other would, before forcing this change, make sure its app is bulletproof. But no, this is 2014 and "riddled with bugs" is the new "you look nice today", so Messenger is instead fraught with silly bugs and nonsensical UX decisions. Perhaps the most annoying one to me, as I am also full of bugs and nonsense, is the fact that sticker packs never, ever, EVER stay downloaded. Every time I launch the Messenger app, the dozen or so sticker packs I've downloaded are nowhere to be seen. Honestly I'm not sure how one screws this up that badly, but kudos to the engineers at Facebook for pioneering innovative new bugs in app creation. What a marvel.

Ever try to use Messenger for groups? I like how Facebook thought showing you the oldest groups up top was a good idea. No one does this and it could not be any more painfully obvious how little thought of how normal users do anything went into it.

So never mind connection issues, thumb-stretching nonsense to accomplish simple tasks or wonky interfaces, because Facebook is still top dog in social. If we've all learned one thing, there's no way this can ever change in technology, especially when you create consumer experiences that are so lacking in their basics... right?

In other news, Facebook tries to do good things too.