Good news America, the case of 14-year-old Shannon Derrick's missing iPod has come to a close. The DuPage County Circuit Court has ordered Stephanie Eick to hand over the 30GB iPod that she received last Christmas to Shannon Derrick. That, as a replacement for Shannon's iPod nano which was stolen after Stephanie left the two-week old nano on Shannon's classroom desk after borrowing it on the last day of 8th grade. In time-honored tradition, the victor's prize will be sold on eBay as the "Derrick iPod." Proceeds from the sale will "help launch" a junior CrimeStoppers program in the girls' hometown. We presume their first order of business will entail growing huge militant afros before shaking down the 8th grade ruffians in the room where the iPod was swiped in the first place. As to Melanie McCarthy, Shannon's stage mother who rejected that anonymously donated nano sent in a bid to end the madness, well she calls the settlement "an insult." Come now dear, we're sure you're in for a little of that Virgin Mary on Toast, pop culture profit in about 5 days, 4 hours, and 32 minutes. Now run along children, we hear there's a new Class Action Lawsuit club starting in the cafeteria.

Update: Anyone else notice the shameless, iPod white and black fingernails on Shannon?

[Thanks, Ricardo]