Volunteers wanted for treatment of slow internetistcles disease. All volunteers will be involuntarily monitored by the NSA, CDC, FBI, CIA, TSA, and a few proctologists for good measure. Treatment for illness caused during this trial will consist of spinal taps and additional diagnostic procedures, guaranteed to work in accordance with the guidelines established in our previous clinical trials.
If you would like to take part in this trial and cannot manage to stretch your testicles, trap them in your microwave, and turn on the power then our trained technicians will be able to assist you in purchasing a similar device under the conditions of our WiMAX trial.
To qualify for this test you must meet the criteria of a) internet addiction, b) tolerance to the repeated phrase, and variants thereof, 'Santa Rosa sweetness', and c) be able to demonstrate basic critical thinking and conclude that everything you read on Wikipedia is the truth.
To enroll please contact
WiZap URNTZ Studies 1337 Geekrility Eugenics Drive Tuskageek CA, 94uN104me USA
Now that we've thrown 'em off the trail, use the form below to get in touch with the people at Engadget. Please fill in all of the required fields because they're required.
Clinical Trial Volunteers needed:
Volunteers wanted for treatment of slow internetistcles disease. All volunteers will be involuntarily monitored by the NSA, CDC, FBI, CIA, TSA, and a few proctologists for good measure. Treatment for illness caused during this trial will consist of spinal taps and additional diagnostic procedures, guaranteed to work in accordance with the guidelines established in our previous clinical trials.
If you would like to take part in this trial and cannot manage to stretch your testicles, trap them in your microwave, and turn on the power then our trained technicians will be able to assist you in purchasing a similar device under the conditions of our WiMAX trial.
To qualify for this test you must meet the criteria of a) internet addiction, b) tolerance to the repeated phrase, and variants thereof, 'Santa Rosa sweetness', and c) be able to demonstrate basic critical thinking and conclude that everything you read on Wikipedia is the truth.
To enroll please contact
WiZap URNTZ Studies
1337 Geekrility Eugenics Drive
Tuskageek CA, 94uN104me
USA