Spy satellite shoot-down: The Movie

Like a vivid fever-dream Michael Bay might have after a night of pounding Sparks, this video of our nation's darkest hour and greatest triumph will have you screaming for a sequel. Confirming our belief that the out-of-control spy satellite which the Navy shot out of the sky in February really did contain a planet-destroying plague of zombie juice and / or Aliens, this roller coaster ride of a film retells the whole drama -- replete with swelling strings and in-your-face rage rock. Enjoy the epic video after the break, as well as a recap of our extensive coverage of the event, and rest easy knowing that once again great disaster has been averted... or has it?

[Via Wired]

Read - Out of control satellite "weeks" away from slamming into Earth
Read - Pentagon to shoot down renegade spy satellite
Read - Disabled spy satellite photographed over Japan
Read - US to shoot down failed satellite at 10:30pm ET tonight
Read - Alien or zombie threat averted: the spy satellite has been destroyed... probably
Read - Video proof of the renegade satellite's destruction

[Ryan @ May 21st 2008 5:03PM]

umm...our nations "darkest hour and greatest triumpth"? i think not...

[Boo Radley @ May 21st 2008 5:05PM]

Good job not getting sarcasm.

[Killer @ May 21st 2008 5:24PM]

What are you talking about!?

We blew up a multi-million dollar satillite! It doesn't get better than that!

I mean I thought the U.S. government was finally getting to a point of not throwing money away. It was starting to scare me! Thanks to this, I for one am proud of my U.S. Government for still throwing money in a dumpster and setting it on fire! I can always rely on my U.S. government for that! =)

[Hayst @ May 21st 2008 6:33PM]

whoooooosh!!!!
____________
ryan's head

[Bachus @ May 21st 2008 5:06PM]

haha, now even engadget is professing the power of sparks. maybe i'm not the only nerd around who likes to go to get crunk on the weekends...

and more on topic, sweet video.

[lawyer bird @ May 21st 2008 5:31PM]

dude. no.

drinking sparks is not getting "crunk"

[Low Ranked @ May 21st 2008 6:05PM]

Sparks is the only energy beer I feel comfortable with drinking while driving.

[Kris S. @ May 21st 2008 5:14PM]

God Bless America

[Bill Hennan @ May 21st 2008 5:17PM]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9LmsNXNwyI&feature=related

Like the the Attack hatak wouldn't see that coming ;)

[erik @ May 21st 2008 5:24PM]

You should have used the original picture!!!!!

[spellprince @ May 21st 2008 5:27PM]

That was gnarly

[Brian @ May 21st 2008 5:30PM]

The reaction of all the Navy people in that little room when it hits is priceless. P.S. Did he say, "...sailors mashing butts with engineers," @ [1:12]?

[GenericWhiteGuy @ May 21st 2008 5:34PM]

I think he said, "If we didn't have sailors mashing buttons". Which also made me laugh. Makes the sailors sound like a bunch of apes just banging randomly on the keyboard.

[Tom @ May 21st 2008 5:43PM]

Maybe they were playing Street Fighter II?

[ozzzy @ May 21st 2008 5:30PM]

America, Fuck Yeah! Comin' to save the motherfuckin' day, Yeah!

(Just had to say it)

[Reich @ May 21st 2008 5:39PM]

The military needs to upgrade their paper. The resolution on the stuff they're using is terrible!

[GreezyG @ May 21st 2008 5:44PM]

Can you say "space weapon test?" The Chinese tested their satellite destroyer so we had to show that we had one too. This was nothing more than a weapons test.

As for the propellant they claim was sooo dangerous we had to blow it up... the same stuff was on board Columbia when it broke apart over Texas. They said nothing about it then why is it suddenly so dangerous?

[TekManiac @ May 21st 2008 6:05PM]

Nasa did warn, it was all over the news. Here is the release from them and the website not to touch anything from the shuttle.
Anyone who discovers debris from the accident or who has film or video evidence that may be of value to the investigation team is urged to use these contacts. Avoid touching any debris, because it may be hazardous as a result of toxic propellants or pyrotechnic devices that were aboard the Shuttle.

http://www.nasa.gov/centers/dryden/news/NewsReleases/2003/03-09.html

[Anthony @ May 21st 2008 6:24PM]

We shot down a satellite from a modified F-15 in January 1984. This was not a show of power because anyone who cares already knew we could do this.

[Ian @ May 21st 2008 6:47PM]

Yes the Chinese hit a satellite, but they left nearly 100% of the debris UP THERE as harzards for future space craft for the next 100+ years.
Yes the shuttle has some of the same hazardous stuff, but a returning shuttle has already burned up most of it's toxix materials fuel etc.
In this case the satellite was hit and the parts fell into deliberately decaying orbits and were almost entirely reduced to dust particles upon their return to earth.

[Homeboy @ May 21st 2008 5:46PM]

That's Duck Hunt on some next level shit! So cool I wish they would do it more often.

[Thi mam(kris120890) @ May 21st 2008 5:53PM]

is it me or was that not a tad overdramatic for such a small problem.

[sushi @ May 21st 2008 7:22PM]

Agree.

[Patrick @ May 21st 2008 10:55PM]

when's the last time *you've* shot down a satellite?

[BuddhaBoy @ May 21st 2008 6:05PM]

So, is it the Air Force or Navy that I want to join if I want to shoot down satellites? The Air Force commercial leads me to believe that it's the USAF but the USN did the job here.

[AJ in the East Bay @ May 22nd 2008 2:16AM]

Dude, USAF all the way if you want to play with satellites among lots of other cool stuff. Forget USN.

[frankXchange @ May 21st 2008 8:25PM]

I thought it was being done tongue-in-cheek, with the over-the-top music and the stuffed shirts attempting to justify the necessity and the expense. I kept waiting for the punchline (I'd have mixed used Space Invader).

Don't get me wrong - cool technology (though the systems interfaces made me nostalgic for the 1980's), but I'd like to see a breakdown of the cost of the satellite vs how much it cost to shoot it down.

[eh @ May 21st 2008 8:40PM]

so.... where's the aliens? where's the crap coming from the sky? it better be in the sequel.

[directive0 @ May 21st 2008 11:40PM]

Wow just dripping with patriotic saccharine American sentiment.

USA!! USA!! USA!!

[adriancal @ May 22nd 2008 4:02AM]

What happened to the US AIR Force's anti-satellite missile that could be launched from the underside of an F-15 or B-52? Surely that would have been ideal for the job?.

[Galley @ May 22nd 2008 9:13AM]

Our military kicks ass; rogue satellite ass. God bless 'em!

[OneLove @ May 22nd 2008 11:58AM]

that dude is playing halo 2 during the shoot-down?

[Greg Baz @ May 22nd 2008 4:04PM]

they reused animation from another video they poseted on youtube in 2006.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMfJc9Pu7fM&feature=related