PC Ionizer for your new-age tower

The PC Ionizer fits into the same kind of slots you would normally use for a DVD burner or removable hard drive.  Instead of doing something as useless as backing up your data, however, the PC Ionizer fills your workspace with charged ions to help you balance your body pH.  Prevent disease while you finish up that spreadsheet on European leather pant buying trends or enhance your skin as you slay morlocks.  The choice is yours.