Ugly and pointless Visual Remote for iPod

Laurie A. Duncan
L. Duncan|10.26.06

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Ugly and pointless Visual Remote for iPod
Color me confused on this one. A company called Advanced Technetix, Inc has popped up out of nowhere and started a Consumer Products division to unleash a seemingly pointless and mighty unattractive product targeted at iPod users. Their website is barren except for contact info and a tag line that says "The Future is Coming." Well we have seen the future, and it is butt-ugly.

The CEO is quoted in the press release as saying "The Visual Remote works with any version [*] of the iPod, does not require any batteries and features a backlit LCD display that enables iPod users to completely control their device from this very small, unobtrusive unit. We are currently developing a wireless version of the Visual Remote and expect to have that version of the product available shortly." Since the iPod already has a backlit LCD for navigation and is barely bigger than this monstrosity, I'm not sure why you'd need it.

Other selling points are said to include:
  • Ability to control the iPod without removing it from your bag or pocket (because we know how strenuous a task that can be)
  • Display allows for full menu functionality and control (just like if you took your iPod out of your pocket )
  • Backlit LCD screen (just like your iPod has)
  • Specially designed sound isolating earbuds (I hope they sound better than this thing looks)
  • Draws minimal power from iPod (I'm hoping that's not marketing speak for "sucks battery life like a vacuum")
  • Designed for easy one hand operations (much like your iPod)
  • Easy to wear, comfortable fit (except for the fact that it's this ugly thing tethered to you and your iPod)
  • Connects to all iPods via Dock Connector (so much for any* version)
  • Great for exercise (think of all those calories you'll burn running away from the fashion police and the cool kids who want to beat you up just for sport)
The only thing I can think of that this is going to be useful for is iPod theft protection. Because with your iPod tucked safely in your pocket and this horrid thing dangling from your neck, no one would dare think you even owned an iPod. There... at least I found one nice thing to say about it.
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