Griffin McElroy
Articles by Griffin McElroy
The Baconing review: Hacked and slashed
"The only constant in this world is change." Wait, no, that doesn't work. "You can't change the past, but you can work to change the future." Nope, that doesn't do the trick either. "War. War never changes." No, wrong game. Hm. Here's the thing: The Baconing has a lot more of the same DeathSpank flavor you're likely used to, but without a lot of the stuff that made DeathSpank good. I guess there's not a cliched "change" quote that quite works there, huh? Sure, the self-obsessed hero of Hothead's first two DeathSpank games is still there. There's still a whole bunch of quests strewn throughout a whimsical and colorful world. And yeah, the writing is still laden with puns and excretory humor, and is presented by a cast of solid comedic voice actors. The hero to the downtrodden still gets wacky loot like the mafioso-looking Pinstripe Platemail as he hacks and slashes his way through bizarre enemies. All that stuff is still there -- but, sadly, it's hidden under a mound of major problems. %Gallery-130182%
Report: Famitsu leak says Persona 4 coming to Vita
The Playstation 2's swan song, Persona 4, will reportedly be receiving a fairly hefty re-release on the PS Vita, according to Andriasang's recent leak of an upcoming issue of Famitsu. The massive RPG was well-received in the console's twilight months, and will only be massiver once its hits Sony's new handheld (under the subtitle The Golden). The site reports the version will include a new character named Mary, additional voice overs and some kind of wireless functionality that lets online friends help you out in a pickle. The magazine also reportedly announces Persona 4: The Ultimate In Mayonaka Arena, a fighter designed by BlazBlue creator Arc System Works for Xbox 360 and PS3. The title will let you brawl as select characters from Personas 3 and 4, and has a new storyline which follows the events of the latter game. Given the lineage of the developer and franchise, we assume that it's going to be absolutely bananas. Update: Famitsu has posted its full report on the games to its website. Go check it out for more details!
Grab the reins of the Gunstringer demo right now on XBLM
A sample of Twisted Pixel's next, Kinect-infused project, The Gunstringer, is now ready for your enjoyment -- or your unenjoyment, on the off chance you possess some deep, inexplicable fear of marionette puppets. The run-and-gunner now has a demo available on Xbox Live Marketplace, where you can download it right now instead of reading a news post about how a demo for The Gunstringer is available right now. The demo supposedly gives a good cross-section of the game's controller-free controls, but we're counting on you to tell us how effectively said scheme works, as we fit squarely into the "irrational puppet fear" contingency.
Minecraft Adventure Update preview: It's a start
As completely and undeniably delightful as Mojang's indie blockbuster Minecraft is, there's a sense of emptiness that pervades its cuboid worlds. It's a void too large to be filled with replica Enterprises and scale models of the Zelda: Link to the Past overworld. It's a cavity left by the absence of adventure. Sure, the game's already got enemies and hidden treasures, but it can only really switch between binary states of peril and exploration. That, friends, does not an adventure make. Fortunately, Mojang understands its already successful title needs a bit more adventure-meat on the bones. Its first step in breathing more life into its destructible, constructible game is the Adventure Update, which the studio was showing off at PAX. Fitting in with the game's iteratively updated release formula, the addition doesn't tack on all the things the title needs -- but it lays some compelling groundwork for the game's transformation into a fully-fledged RPG affair.
Firefall preview: Something for everyone
There's a good chance that Firefall is going to be your absolute, undeniable jam. It's just one of those combinations of features and ideas that should apply to at least (but probably more than) one of your sensibilities: It has class-based shooting, customizable loadouts, loot, strategy, a persistent world, character creation and a focus on cooperative, Player vs. Environment gameplay. Any of those tickle your fancy? They tickle mine. They tickle all of my fancies simultaneously.
Guild Wars 2 preview: Common sense
Of the many -- so, so many -- MMOs represented on the PAX Prime 2011 show floor, ArenaNet's long-in-development Guild Wars 2 easily presents the most outside-the-box thinking. Where other entries in the genre tend to look at their contemporaries and attempt to iteratively repair their rough edges, Guild Wars 2 throws out baby, bathwater and tub, starting with a base that's altogether unprecedented. Take, for instance, this core conceit: Why do other MMOs require you to stand still to use most of your character's abilities? Why not allow them to fire off powers while ducking and dodging through salvos of enemy attacks? Why not let heroes use their powers, regardless of whether or not they're targeting an enemy? Why not put some action in your MMO, or vice versa? ArenaNet seems to have noticed most developers' proclivity for sacrificing streamlined gameplay for staple MMO characteristics, and repeatedly asked that very question: Why?
Halo Combat Evolved Anniversary preview: Like falling off a log
I haven't been particularly skillful at any of the Halo games that succeeded Halo -- a direct result of the fact that the original game possesses a language that the rest of the series eschewed. Perhaps it was a language of simplicity; after all, true success only demanded proficiency with one weapon, the pistol, which could take enemies down in a handful of well-placed headshots. Forget armor abilities, dual wielding and deployable items: There was only gun, and the manner in which you used gun. While playing Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary earlier this week -- in its single-player, multiplayer and multi-dimensional varieties -- I was struck by how quickly that language came sailing back to me. I probably didn't realize it until that moment, but in the ten years that have passed since the original launch of Halo, I've really come to miss Halo.%Gallery-130718%
Penny Arcade Expo planning on branching out to third city
Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik -- the pair of minds behind Penny Arcade, which is the comic behind the major gaming convention that's happening right now -- have confirmed that PAX will soon find a home in a third location somewhere on the planet. "Yeah, there's going to be a third PAX," Krahulik explained in an interview with us earlier today. "Believe it," Holkins added. We do! The duo said they have a city in mind, but didn't divulge which one it is -- a shame, because there are a lot of cities to guess from. During last year's PAX Press Q&A, they hinted that a third PAX might come together, perhaps in an overseas locale they'd like to visit. Any international readers have a hometown they'd like to see wholly and completely overrun by gamingkind?
Quantum Conundrum preview: Inter-dimensional charm
Recent Airtight Games convert Kim Swift's new downloadable title, Quantum Conundrum, is just about as charming as charming can be. You probably could have guessed that based on Swift's notably Portal-infused background, not to mention the pitch-perfect, cartoonish design aesthetic that pervades the manor home in which the game is set. But you really have to see its dimension shifting in action to fully understand it. The pitch is this: Using an "Inter-dimensional Shift Device," a young boy must traverse the sprawling mansion of his mad scientist uncle, Dr. Fitz Quadwrangle, to discover said relative's whereabouts. The device in question allows the user to shift each of the puzzle-filled rooms between four dimensions to achieve goals, changing the properties of each of the objects contained therein. It's a lot less complicated once you see it in action, until it gets a whole lot more complicated. %Gallery-131812%
Halo: Reach title update coming in September, Armor Lock getting nerfed
At last night's Halo Fest event, we learned about a rather beefy title update to Halo: Reach that's set to launch sometime next month. The patch implements a number of significant (and, therefore, controversial) changes to the multiplayer title, with the biggest being the nerfing of the Armor Lock ability. Instead of making you an invulnerable juggernaut, Armor Lock now only prevents most of the damage done to you whilst locked, and no longer detaches stuck plasma grenades. Other changes include: the addition of "Shield Bleed-through," whereby damage done to players with a fraction of their shield remaining can now be carried over to their remaining health; an option to remove reticle bloom; the removal of a player's ability to deflect an oncoming sword lunge by meleeing (unless they too are using a sword); and the wholesale buffing of the pistol, bringing it closer to parity with its Halo: Combat Evolved predecessor.
Examine Halo 4's Warthog in Forza 4's 'Auto Vista' mode
Ever wanted to know the deep lore behind and automotive specs inside Halo's most abundant form of military transportation? You can and you will, provided you pick up Turn 10's upcoming racer, Forza Motorsport 4. At last night's Halo Fest event, the studio announced that the new, Halo 4 model of the ubiquitous Warthog would be featured as an easter egg in the game's spectatorial "Auto Vista" mode. This means that you'll be able to sail around the new iteration of the car (using either a controller or Kinect-based gestures), manipulating its every feature and learning more about its backstory thanks to some 343-penned narration. The best part? Those voiceovers are performed by Jen Taylor, the actor behind Halo's luminous guide, Cortana. The worst part? The Warthog's only viewable in Auto Vista mode, and won't be driveable in actual races. We suppose that would be unfair, because, you know, chaingun.
Madden NFL 12 review: Vacuum-sealed
Reviewing, let alone investing in an annual sports game series is difficult. In my experience, Madden fans are typically the reluctant type; they hope for vast improvements every year and expect a new game that will blow them away. Madden NFL 12 is not that game. It's not the kind of game that answers every problem players have with football games. But this year, EA Sports tackled some core issues that elevates this game as one of the best in the series. %Gallery-131740%
Portabliss: Pigs in Trees (iOS)
Did you know that you can download handheld games now? That's amazingly convenient! The only inconvenient part of it is finding the right games to buy -- and that's where we come in, with our Portabliss column. In each installment, we'll tell you about a downloadable game on the iPhone, iPad, Android device, DSi, 3DS, PSP, etc. Today: Pigs in Trees. If I were to tell you that the game I was playing involved birds, and also pigs, and also the birds and pigs were embroiled in some kind of ceaseless melee, but that the game I was playing was not that one super-popular game, you'd probably assume I was playing some clone of that super-popular game that had been placed on the App Store as a trap for dumb people. I know this, because I am telling you that, and you are totally assuming that. Pan Vision and Tactile Entertainment's Pigs in Trees is anything but dumb, however -- though it is something of a trap. The first few, brief and uninspiring levels left me believing that I'd be able to put the game down after just a few minutes with it. After a few hours of blasting birds out of the sky with my biplane-piloting swine, I realized that I was just about as wrong as I've ever been.
Hector: Badge of Carnage Episode 2 getting nasty tomorrow
The second episode of Straandlooper's crude, episodic adventure series, Hector: Badge of Carnage, has finally been given a proper release date: Thursday, August 25. Now, if you're paying attention, you know that's just a fancy way of saying "tomorrow." Like, the day after today.
Fruit Ninja Kinect DLC brings the thunder tomorrow [update: Today!]
Not feeling powerful enough during your sessions of fruit mutilation (or, if you will, fruitilation) on Fruit Ninja Kinect? You're insatiable -- but you're also the target demographic for tomorrow's DLC update. Titled "Storm Season," the content will add a new "Storm Castle" background, "The Rain Man Shadow" silhouette and, following the theme, the "Lightning Bolt Blade." The DLC will run purchasers 160 Microsoft Points ($2), will add three new Achievements to the title for a bonus of 50 'cheevo points, and will finally let you figure out what happens when an apple gets struck by a bolt of lightning. Points. Points happen. Update: A Halfbrick representative just emailed to inform us that their initial timetable was off by exactly one day. By which we mean: It's available right now!
European PSN releases for August 24
There's a number of high-profile releases in today's PS3 European content update, including Street Fighter III: Third Strike Online and a demo for Warhammer 40K: Space Marine. Sadly, the PSP has almost nothing new this week -- an issue Sony hopes to correct by drowning us all in dozens of discounts on PSP downloadables. Choose your platform to view the corresponding release list: (Note: Continue past the break to view both release lists.)
Aliens: Colonial Marines trailer kills a whole lot of humans
If we had a nickel for each of the titular soldiers that gets massacred in this (apparently leaked) trailer for Aliens: Colonial Marines, we'd probably have enough money to afford the therapy we'll need to get over how many titular soldiers we just saw get massacred. Come, join our distress!
Kanye West scheduled to close out Call of Duty XP
Confession time: We really can't play Call of Duty -- or any other shooter franchise, for that matter -- without Kanye West's "Power" playing in the background. We simply can't do it. No other ditty is capable of eliciting so much badass juice from our action glands. Luckily, Activision understands this deep physiological need, and has booked the hip-hop icon for the Call of Duty XP convention on the night of Saturday, September 3. This will be the first time West has performed since the release of his musical collaboration with Jay-Z, "Watch the Throne." We can't wait to see him perform our favorite singles from the LP, including "Keep an Eye On the Seat," and "Hey, Check Out This Totally Fancy Chair."
Sonic 4 Episode 2 rolling into place in 2012
Sega has apparently joined the effort forged by Valve to change the rules of how long you can go between episodic releases, while still being allowed to call said releases "episodes." In a recent interview with Eurogamer, Sonic Team's Takashi Iikuza talked about Sonic 4, explaining, "This year, 2011, is the anniversary, so we're focusing on the celebration title." He later added, "But moving forward to 2012, Sonic will still be going, so I'd hope to provide Episode 2 then." In other news, have you guys seen this new show, Best Buds Living It Up In New York? It's this great new NBC sitcom. The first episode aired last night, and the next episode is going to air in about eighteen months.
Serious Sam 3: BFE headlessly heads to PC on Oct. 18
The Good Book tells us that thou shalt not suffer a GIANT SCORPION MAN THING to live -- and fortunately for us all, we won't have to suffer for much longer. Croteam and Devolver Digital have announced that their upcoming arcadey shooter, Serious Sam 3: BFE, will arrive on PC on October 18, meaning we're a little under two months from fulfilling the mandate of the aforementioned, completely made-up scripture. If you're planning on picking up the title, you might want to pre-order it on Steam; once reservations on the title become available on the platform, they'll save you a cool 10 percent off the final purchase price of the game.