Jason Wishnov
Articles by Jason Wishnov
Wii Warm Up: Tendencies
The sporting world is notorious for superstitious tendencies and odd behavior. Players always have the same meal preceding a game; they won't cut their hair until they lose; they'll wear the same jock str ... egh, never mind. The point is, despite overwhelming scientific evidence, people still continue to engage in silly habits for luck and good fortune.As a gamer, do you have any particular habits before tournaments? Barring competitive play, are there any strange habits you have while gaming in general? Some of us here tend to spin the Wiimote around our fingers when we perform something of note, and others blow on the DVD before insertion into the Wii, harkening back to the NES days. Man, we're weird.
DS Daily: Custom stylus
We've touched on the issue of the stylus before; many people use thicker, professional styluses from PDAs or whatnot, while others use some of the special edition ones seen around the internet. But it's a free-thinking world, guys and gals, and reality is such a ho-hum place.Let your mind drift and dream, and tell us, dear readers: in a penultimate world (that's a clever pun, see?), what would your stylus be? Any reasonably cylindrical shape will do. We're partial to the deadly eastern dragon above, of course.
Nintendo files for "invitation system" patent [update 1]
[Update 1: Slightly altered the headline.]According to U.S. Patent No. 20070123353 (are there really that many patents? No. 1 must be for "fire"), Nintendo is contemplating an "invitation system for [online videogames]." A fairly standard feature of Xbox Live, this would enable Wii users to be automatically notified of any friends logged into Nintendo servers, and enable the ability to invite said player to join them in whatever wonderful fantasy land in which they currently reside.This technically may not even be for the Wii, but with rewritable firmware and a crapton of yen to replace their entire online infrastructure, hey, you never know. If you have ridiculous superstitious tendencies, please feel free to perform them ... now.
Japanese hardware sales, May 21 - May 27: Step by Step edition
Some of our readers wonder exactly what they're supposed to do with the Japanese hardware sales every week. To promote enlightenment and worldwide harmony, we've taken the liberty of creating a step-by-step walkthrough of a proper response to the weekly figures. Adhere to these rules whenever possible, and if you must deviate, remember to at least properly remove all semblance of standard English grammar from your comments.1. Look for any obvious outliers in the sales data, such as the Nintendo DS falling out of first place. This will never occur; advance to step 2.2. Statistical variation causes slight fluctuations every week. Immediately look for numbers that come close to dividing evenly into one another; this enables comments such as, "lol, wii sold 5x of PS3s this week, pwnage."3. Should any Nintendo systems suffer a decrease in sales, come up with reasons as to why they dropped. The usually accurate "supply is unable to currently meet demand" excuse is no longer sufficient in most cases. Come up with creative replies like, "redirected shipments of software caused a temporary instability in the retail market," or "lol ghost of kutaragi put a curse on teh DS kekekekeke."4. There will invariably be a Sony or Microsoft troll, defending his or her own system while attacking your own. Henceforth, we'll be posting IP addresses and relevant contact information*; please take it upon yourselves to attack and/or maim the aforementioned troll, preferably with some kind of mace that grants +7 strength while fighting trolls.*Really.**- DS Lite: 127,461 16,248 (14.61%) - Wii: 58,644 6,451 (12.36%) - PSP: 26,097 1,408 (5.12%) - PS2: 11,311 430 (3.95%) - PS3: 9,627 968 (11.18%) - Xbox 360: 2,044 18 (0.89%) - Game Boy Micro: 407 21 (4.91%) - GBA SP: 288 42 (12.73%) - Gamecube: 256 20 (7.25%) - DS Phat: 81 55 (211.54%) - GBA: 17 16 (48.48%)[Source: Media Create]**Not really.
Japanese hardware sales, May 21 - May 27: Step by Step edition
Some of our readers wonder exactly what they're supposed to do with the Japanese hardware sales every week. To promote enlightenment and worldwide harmony, we've taken the liberty of creating a step-by-step walkthrough of a proper response to the weekly figures. Adhere to these rules whenever possible, and if you must deviate, remember to at least properly remove all semblance of standard English grammar from your comments.1. Look for any obvious outliers in the sales data, such as the Nintendo DS falling out of first place. This will never occur; advance to step 2.2. Statistical variation causes slight fluctuations every week. Immediately look for numbers that come close to dividing evenly into one another; this enables comments such as, "lol, wii sold 5x of PS3s this week, pwnage."3. Should any Nintendo systems suffer a decrease in sales, come up with reasons as to why they dropped. The usually accurate "supply is unable to currently meet demand" excuse is no longer sufficient in most cases. Come up with creative replies like, "redirected shipments of software caused a temporary instability in the retail market," or "lol ghost of kutaragi put a curse on teh DS kekekekeke."4. There will invariably be a Sony or Microsoft troll, defending his or her own system while attacking your own. Henceforth, we'll be posting IP addresses and relevant contact information*; please take it upon yourselves to attack and/or maim the aforementioned troll, preferably with some kind of mace that grants +7 strength while fighting trolls.*Really.**- DS Lite: 127,461 16,248 (14.61%) - Wii: 58,644 6,451 (12.36%) - PSP: 26,097 1,408 (5.12%) - PS2: 11,311 430 (3.95%) - PS3: 9,627 968 (11.18%) - Xbox 360: 2,044 18 (0.89%) - Game Boy Micro: 407 21 (4.91%) - GBA SP: 288 42 (12.73%) - Gamecube: 256 20 (7.25%) - DS Phat: 81 55 (211.54%) - GBA: 17 16 (48.48%)[Source: Media Create]**Not really.
Currently unused component found in Wiimote
Before you go running off to troll post on various message boards, we'd like to give you some specifics. A recent CNN technology feature details some of the various chips and components found within the forty-dollar Wiimote. Among the Bluetooth converters and accelerometers is a component listed as an "audio translator," which "converts analog data such as human speech into a digital data stream. This feature is unused now but will probably be employed in future games." The approximate cost is listed at $2.00.So, what's the deal? First, there is no actual microphone (a device capable of converting vibrational energy into electrical signals) found within the Wiimote. Though basic electrical engineering principals allow a standard speaker to act in such a fashion, the signal quality and frequency response would be unacceptably low. This chip actually requires an expansion device for it to be used at all. So why add it? It's only two dollars, but this rather unnecessary addition has cost the company several dozen million dollars. We can only assume that Nintendo or significant third parties are planning a title utilizing an expansion microphone, which will be presumably cheap enough to bundle with a title and incur no markup in price.God knows the masses need a mainstream karaoke game (we know about Karaoke Revolution for the PS2, but it never really took off), and the Wii is just the system to do it. Like a Virginnnnn ... hey!
Super Smash Bros. Brawl tidbit roundup
For those not compulsively checking the official Smash Bros. website daily for bare snippets of information, we here at Wii Fanboy have decided to perform the service of coalescing tidbits into tidbigs. Over the past week, a few interesting details have surfaced.Most of the reveals are item-based: you may now move freely with projectile weapons (finally!), and as detailed earlier here, the new "Gooey Bomb" item was unveiled. The most interesting new item, however, is the Smash Ball, which activates character-specific "Final Smash" attacks. Mario's is entitled the "Mario Finale" attack, which unleashes a spread-fire explosion attack, and we've seen Link's Triforce blade attack in an earlier video. Since most competitive Smash Bros. players contend without the randomizing effect of items, it'll be interesting to see if this affects higher-level gameplay.Also unveiled are some of Pit's (of Kid Icarus fame) attacks, which include a controllable arrow of light and limited flight capabilities (most likely the Up+B special). Brawl looks like it's coming together nicely ... do you guys agree?
Tetris ice cubes for the remarkably unashamed
Some of us prefer to hide our geekiness, fearing a loss of social status and reduced favor with the opposite sex. Others know that such things are mere trifles, and display their dorkdom with honor and pride. For those of the latter, we would point you to a step-by-step walkthrough of how to make your very own tetromino ice cubes. Yes, it must be Tetris craft week all around the intertron.The steps are clearly written and easy to follow, but some woodwork and silicone supplies are required. If you're a handyman (or woman), go make yourself some cubes: they'll go wonderfully with that Russian vodka. Just kidding. We mean pop. (Punch Out!! reference FTW)
Get RE4 only two years late, instead of two years and two weeks
Does your hunger rival that of the undead horde? Grab a Snickers. If that's the case, you'd probably be interested to know that the extremely anxious will (probably) be able to obtain the Wii version of the much-lauded Resident Evil 4 several weeks early, via the import site Play-Asia. Sure, it'll cost you twenty dollars more than the standard U.S. price of $29.99, and it'll probably highlight your incredible lack of patience and discipline, but those pale in comparison to the two weeks of additional ecstasy.This is not officially confirmed, so you might want to check back at their product page for updates if interested. If you do happen to obtain the game early ... or if you're reading this article from the far-flung future, in which RE4 has already undergone standard release, feel free to post your impressions.
DS Daily: Overabundance and dearth
The number of DS games given stateside release is now probably beyond 500 (we'd count up all the entries here but we're too lazy), but as in college campuses around the country, diversity can be a tricky beast. We've seen some great titles across the board, of course, but haven't you felt that the DS was a bit lacking in some areas, while watered down in others?The most obvious absentees are the general JRPG and fighting genres. RPG experiences themselves aren't too difficult to come by, but standard fare (outside of remakes) is a bit harder to find. By and large the best fighting game for the DS, Jump Superstars, has never even been localized. When it comes to puzzle and racing genres, however, we're flooded with low-polish trash. Which genres do you feel are over- or under-represented, and of which would you like to see more?
Wii Warm Up: Rumors are fun
We would put our journalistic integrity at risk by making a full-fledged post out of this stuff. Seriously, check the link: "confirmed reports" of Brawl and Galaxy release dates, new Mario Kart and Zelda for the Wii, a new original IP similar to Final Fantasy VII ... it's a Nintendo fan's wet dream. While we can't completely discount the fact that it's real, being constantly exposed to this drivel has to make one just a bit jaded.Rumors are fun, there's no doubt ... even if we know it's fake, it's nice to imagine. But who writes this stuff? What kind of odd psychological thrill do they receive, and why are Nintendo fans so willing to ignore the obvious and go along with it? Some of it is impressive (see the Nintendo On video), but it seems that Nintendo is eighteen times more susceptible to ridiculous rumor-mongering than the nearest competitor. Ah well ... it's kinda fun ... we guess. Your thoughts?
Happy funtime Memorial Day video: Rejected Wii Play minigames
A caution to our readers: anyone with a conscience or refined sense of humor may want to stay far away from the above video, which features a host of "rejected" Wii Play minigames to hilarious effect. It even includes Ribbon Dancing Revolution, which we called back in August of '06. The excellent reproduction of the Mii's simplistic style is alone worth the price of admission, so go ahead, click on the play button.We're not watching.[via GoNintendo]
Wii Warm Up: NMS excitement
Fresh from the Nintendo Media Summit, we've quite a few impressions of games coming out in the immediate future. Among them: Mario Party 8 Super Mario Strikers: Charged Big Brain Academy Pokemon Battle Revolution The Bigs Boogie My Word Coach Rayman: Raving Rabbids 2 We're most jazzed for Strikers, especially after reading such effulgent impressions from Penny Arcade. But which game shown at NMS excited you the most? If you were stuck on an island and could only have one game ... you know, assuming you had a Wii and a couple Wiimotes, and a nice TV ... maybe some nunchuks, oh, and the sensor bar, and I guess you'd need a standard 120 W outlet somewhere in the sand ... and a decent supply of food and water, or you wouldn't spend your time playing the Wii ... you know what, never mind.
Japanese hardware sales, May 14 - May 20: Satisfactory edition
Having issues with performance? Can't seem to keep those sales numbers up? Disappointed in your ability to satisfy Japanese schoolchildren? It's okay, Mr. Miyamoto. It's not you, it's just ... you know ... they've seen it all before. They want something new. They need something big, and yours just isn't big enough. But boy, do we have a product for you! Trust us. With regular use comes a guaranteed increase in size, or your money back! Girls will flock to you, women will be putty in your hands! After all, we've seen the results firsthand. Yes, that's right, we've sunk quite a bit of our own money and time into this product, and we're just absolutely 100% positive you'll start seeing results within a few weeks. And hey, it's not your fault nature didn't give you a little more to work with! So go ahead and start Training Your Brain, Miyamoto-san, and give those women what they really want: your astronomically high IQ. - DS Lite: 111,213 52,572 (32.10%) - Wii: 52,193 351 (0.67%) - PSP: 27,505 6,928 (20.12%) - PS2: 10,881 467 (4.48%) - PS3: 8,659 180 (2.04%) - Xbox 360: 2,026 79 (3.75%) - Game Boy Micro: 428 20 (4.90%) - GBA SP: 330 13 (3.79%) - Gamecube: 276 39 (12.38%) - GBA: 33 15 (83.33%) - DS Phat: 26 13 (33.33%)[Source: Media Create]
Japanese hardware sales, May 14 - May 20: Satisfactory edition
Having issues with performance? Can't seem to keep those sales numbers up? Disappointed in your ability to satisfy Japanese schoolchildren? It's okay, Mr. Miyamoto. It's not you, it's just ... you know ... they've seen it all before. They want something new. They need something big, and yours just isn't big enough. But boy, do we have a product for you! Trust us. With regular use comes a guaranteed increase in size, or your money back! Girls will flock to you, women will be putty in your hands! After all, we've seen the results firsthand. Yes, that's right, we've sunk quite a bit of our own money and time into this product, and we're just absolutely 100% positive you'll start seeing results within a few weeks. And hey, it's not your fault nature didn't give you a little more to work with! So go ahead and start Training Your Brain, Miyamoto-san, and give those women what they really want: your astronomically high IQ. - DS Lite: 111,213 52,572 (32.10%) - Wii: 52,193 351 (0.67%) - PSP: 27,505 6,928 (20.12%) - PS2: 10,881 467 (4.48%) - PS3: 8,659 180 (2.04%) - Xbox 360: 2,026 79 (3.75%) - Game Boy Micro: 428 20 (4.90%) - GBA SP: 330 13 (3.79%) - Gamecube: 276 39 (12.38%) - GBA: 33 15 (83.33%) - DS Phat: 26 13 (33.33%)[Source: Media Create]
Min-E3 press conference confirmed, dated
We hath mourned the death of the one and true E3, but like a mentally handicapped phoenix, the new Min-E3 has risen from the ashes. And while the glitz, glamour, and majority of games will have vanished into thinnest air, the wondrous tradition of the press conference remains. All three players will attempt to outdo the other, yet again.This year, Nintendo is second on the list: 9:30 AM PST on Wednesday, July 11th. Prior to their engagement is Microsoft the day before, and Sony is naught but two hours later at 11:30. We expect solid release dates for at least one of Super Mario Galaxy or Super Smash Bros. Brawl, as well as more than a few surprises. C'mon, Iwata ... drop the bomb.
More Rabbid stuff
First came the pictures, now come the words. Rayman: Raving Rabbids 2 has released more information in three days than Nintendo has, ever, on some of their games announced years ago. They could learn a thing or two.First up are some hands-on impressions of the title, courtesy of IGN. The game almost essentially ditches the concept of playing as Rayman (he's in disguise as a rabbid) so that the game can focus on the carrot-loving crazies. More minigames have had competitive modes added (very few had this option in the original), and the game will allow you to customize your rabbid with a whole slew of ridiculous accessories. Awesome.We also thought it would be worth mentioning that this time, Raving Rabbids 2 is completely exclusive to Nintendo platforms, the Wii and the DS. The whole insane minigame thing loses 68.3% of its appeal without the Wiimote anyway, so this makes perfect sense.BAHHHHHHHH!
Square-Enix remakes just keep on comin'
Not content with releasing eighty remakes of popular Final Fantasy titles and making an obscene profit from said actions, a recent online interview with CEO Yoichi Wada revealed that the company has plans to remake an unknown number of their other mega-popular franchise, Dragon Quest (also known, for earlier iterations, as Dragon Warrior here in the states).Which titles and how many are as of yet unknown ... the information seemed to just slip right out of Wada-san's vocal cords ... but we'd imagine a compilation similar to Final Fantasy: Dawn of Souls. Also, while not officially confirmed for the DS, we can't really imagine these titles going anywhere else. Does this news excite you guys, or are the old-school DQ titles just a bit too old-school?
My Word Coach lets you be like us (plus DS-to-Wii connectivity!) [update 1]
[Update: Fixed broken link.]Surely you've thought at some point, hunched over your keyboard because that damned essay is due tomorrow morning, that words could flow glibly and beautifully from your fingertips, as they do so often at Nintendo Wii Fanboy.All right, that was a little arrogant. We're sorry.Anyway. As you very well may know, Brain Age focused fairly heavily on the numerical side of things. Equations = sadness. Did it teach you how to express, or to inspire? Hell no. And so Ubisoft jumps into the brain training genre, with both Wii and DS versions of their literary inculcator, My Word Coach.There's an in-depth preview over at IGN, and we highly encourage you to peruse their hands-on experience. We'd also like to point out that this game features a simple and effective DS-to-Wii communication feature, in which handwriting performed via stylus is instantly translated into the Wii title, which coincidentally happens to have a far more robust handwriting recognition system than did Brain Age. Is your brain tingling in excitement? We certainly hope so.
Wii Warm Up: When you just can't take any more Dragonball
Don't get us wrong, we used to like Dragonball Z. When we were, like, twelve. But with the announcement of yet another DBZ game coming to the Wii, we can't help but think of all the other deserving anime franchises that could use the gaming treatment. The import Naruto titles on the 'Cube were spectacular, and we hear that the Bleach and Full Metal Alchemist titles aren't half bad.You guys probably watch more anime than us, so which series, no matter how obscure, would you have make its way to the Wii? How about Read or Die, which could make very interesting use of the Wiimote for the various paper-based powers, or maybe Hikaru no Go, as a cool boardgame/RPG tandem title? Come forth, otaku, we summon thee!