Vladimir Cole

PC Gaming

PC Gaming By Vladimir Cole

World waits for World of Warcraft: Burning Crusade

Blizzard's just-released Burning Crusade expansion for World of Warcraft appears to have inspired customers (old and new) to return in droves. The screenshot above was taken moments ago. It demonstrates that the huddled masses, yearning to breathe digitally, are forming long lines at the borders to Azeroth. "Let us in," the wretched refuse cry!

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Apple

Apple By Vladimir Cole

Apple TV: games or no games?

We're confused about Apple's plans for games on their new Apple TV device. Marketing copy running across the top of the official "Apple TV" website promises "If it's on iTunes, it's on TV," yet small, grey text at the bottom of the screen takes that promise back: "iPod games will not play on Apple TV." Further confusion results from the image at right, showing a screenshot of a Harris Poll administered back in October in which consumers were asked what sort of content they might like to purchase for an Apple TV device. Games are listed. Is the absence of gaming from Apple TV an indication that poll respondents showed little interest in games? Is the absence of gaming due to technical limitations that might be fixed in future versions of Apple TV hardware? Is the absence of gaming an indication that iPod gaming itself might not be faring so well in the iTunes marketplace? (EA's embrace of iTunes gaming indicates otherwise.) Whatever the case may be, it looks like consumers will have to stick to their latest-gen consoles if they want to play inexpensive, digitally downloaded games from the couch... for now.

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Gaming By Vladimir Cole

A cautionary tale for D&D geeks

Four hours into a Reno 911 marathon, we stumbled across a short, cautionary tale that highlights the dangers that await those who would dabble in the dark arts of D&D. It's no Dark Dungeons (Gor Bless you, Jack Chick), but we hope this clip proves just as educational. Forward to timestamp 17:41 to jump straight to the relevant moment.

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News

News By Vladimir Cole

Ayiti: The Cost of Life

Ayiti: The Cost of Life is a simple, web-based strategy game built by NYC-based developers gameLab and students from Brooklyn's South Shore High School. The game's purpose is to teach about poverty in developing nations, but don't let the game's educational mission deter you from giving it a shot. It's not easy. In eight attempts to win with the "Money" strategy, we lost eight times (Cholera being the leading cause of death in the game). If you find a strategy that keeps your family from crapping themselves to death, do share, because the game's not at all easy. Then again, maybe the point is that you're not supposed to be able to win this one.

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Xbox By Vladimir Cole

Peter Moore tells reporter not to play Gears of War

Scholastic News reporter Aaron Broder (pictured here) needs another four years before he'll be able to play M-rated, thrice-platinum Gears of War, a situation that put Xbox chief Peter Moore in "the difficult position of advising a reporter not to play one of the top games for the company's Xbox 360," according to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. See also: Aaron Broder interviewed, Aaron Broder's report from CES. [Photo credit: Aaron Broder, Scholastic News.]

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Technology

Technology By Vladimir Cole

Wii noisier than Xbox 360 and PS3, says sound meter test

According to readings taken with an analog sound meter that audio geeks like to use to calibrate their home theater systems, the Wii is the loudest of the three consoles when reading disc-based media. Surprised? Us too. [Via Engadget]

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Nintendo By Vladimir Cole

Zelda cartoon retro blast

So you've beat the latest Zelda and you're still jonesing for more of the pointy-eared boy-hero in green tights? TV Links compiled this handy link listing pointing to 13 episodes of the series that originally aired in 1989 and 1990. 1. The Ringer part 1, part 22. Cold Spells part 1, part 23. The White Knight part 1, part 24. Kiss n Tell part 1, part 25. Sing for the Unicorn part 1, part 26. That Sinking Feeling part 1, part 27. Doppelganger part 1, part 28. Underworld Connections part 1, part 29. Stinging the Stinger part 1, part 210. A Hitch in the Works part 1, part 211. Fairies in the Spring part 1, part 212. The Missing Link part 1, part 213. Moblins are Revolting part 1, part 2 [Via Plusmail]

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Gaming By Vladimir Cole

Ms. Pac-Man has invited you to lunch

As often happens during lunchtime jaunts through Flickr, our stomach led us to pictures of food, where we happened upon Mr. Bento sets, which subsequently led to this delectable Ms. Pac-Man bento box. It may look like Ms. Pac-Man's about to gobble the ghost, but truth is both were munched by one "nadja.robot," the creator and the destroyer of this gastronomical artwork. Adorable and nutritious? See, games are good for you.

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Gaming By Vladimir Cole

Sega lawyers harass YTMND

We saved this post for after midnight, because the linked-to content features some racy rap in response to a cease-and-desist letter Sega Europe allegedly sent to YTMND on January 11, 2007. (Click subsequent links herein at your own risk.) Sega's lawyers maintain that consumers "may be confused into believing that [Sonic-related YTMNDs are] in someway [sic] linked to or associated with [Sega]." Ok, pop quiz time. Reader, tell us, are you confused between this site and this site? How about between this site and this site? Or this one and this one? Didn't think so. Therefore, a little anger on the part of the YTMND community seems warranted. Sega just threw water an on oil fire. This response, in particular, seems particularly creative. Check it out, but brace yourself for some salty language. We've left a voicemail with Sega Europe's legal department, we'll let you know if we hear back from them. [Image credit: Flickr user Zacharo2000.]

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PC Gaming

PC Gaming By Vladimir Cole

World of Warcraft breaks 8 million subscribers

The most successful MMORPG of all time just got successfuller: Blizzard today announced that World of Warcraft has surpassed 8 million subscribers. Two million of those subscribers are in North America, 1.5 million in Europe, and 3.5 million in China (the remainder are scattered throughout other parts of the world). Will nothing stop this juggernaut? We recall attending a GDC 2005 session in which pundits asked (and failed to answer) the following question, "When will we see our first truly mass-market MMORPG?" [Image credit: World of Warcraft Coke cans spotted at a supermarket by Flickr user hey-gem] [Via WoW Insider.com]

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Nintendo By Vladimir Cole

Finally! A Wii-proof lamp built to survive Wiisports

Looks like reports of Wii damage aren't going away anytime soon: people are still damaging their television sets, lamps, windows, pets, and selves as they flail about living rooms designed more for lounging than energetic indoor video games. Rather than fight it, flow with it. The KNOCK-OFF LAMP's beautiful, white polyproylene exterior echoes the Wii aesthetic, and it's made to be knocked over. At just $22.00, it's also probably cheaper than non Wii-proof lamps, too. [Via funfurde]

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Nintendo By Vladimir Cole

Wiirotic

When Nintendo unveiled the controversial "Wii" name, many readers noted the unfortunate similarity between the English slang term for a certain human reproductive organ. The resemblances don't stop there. The Wiimote's unique shape is a touch more phallic than the humble television remote control. No surprise then, that the fan community has produced this PG-13 video making the implicit a little more explicit. Enjoy.

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Gaming By Vladimir Cole

Game designer turns geek mafia

Before you lynch us for recommending entertainment that's neither electronic nor interactive (books, they're the ultimate retro portable), know that GEEK MAFIA ain't just any book. First, it's hella cheap: $5. Second, the book features as hero protagonist a video game designer who gets entangled in a comic book counterfeiting scheme and uses game design skills to pull off a big con. Author Rick Dakan's bio includes a hint of the intrigue that may have inspired the novel. According to his bio, Dakan dreamed up the idea for popular MMORPG City of Heroes, helped found Cryptic Studios, and was fired by his business partners three years later. The kid's got chops, the book's getting props, and the price is right. We bought one. [Via Seth Godin]

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Cybersecurity

Cybersecurity By Vladimir Cole

Unredeemed gift cards dwarf credit- and debit-card fraud

We should have included "give cash not gift cards" as one of our gamer-focused resolutions for 2007. See, most companies that we buy our games from offer gift cards. Problem is, of the $80 billion in gift cards purchased last year, experts estimate that $8 billion (some 10%) will never be redeemed -- an amount that dwarfs credit- and debit-card fraud together, according to the New York Times. Heck, Best Buy alone earned $16 million from unredeemed gift cards last year, the Times said. Go redeem those cards. $16 million buys a lot of game loot. Don't let it rot. [Photo credit: Flickr user XoXoAndy&LebronXoXo, who has accumulated $365 worth of the cards.]

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Gaming By Vladimir Cole

Got any gamer resolutions?

Got any games-specific resolutions that you'd care to share? Here are a few suggested to us by friends and family over the last few weeks as we canvassed for suggestions on this topic: Buy used. Few games get so badly beaten up that they won't play, and those that do can be returned for the same product. Why pay full price? Play your old games. Admit it. You've got a ton of great games sitting on your shelf that you still haven't beat. Think of all the little Kazakhstani kids who never get to play video games. You'll finish your games before you get up from that sofa, young man, or you won't get another game to play. Check the reviews. No matter what we say on this point, Sports Roster Update '08 will still sell millions of copies, but we all know that smart consumers do try to take into consideration that mass of criticism available on just about every game released. If you care about games, you'll starve bad developers and bad publishers so that innovative, creative games will find some breathing space on store shelves. Widen your horizons. Don't be provincial: if you're a diehard fanboy of console Z, try one of the other guys with an open mind. If you're a diehard video gamer, try a paper-based game or a board game. Reconnecting with classics like chess and backgammon can teach us to be better critics of game balance. Defend your hobby. There's no shortage of opportunistic politicians who attack gaming because it'll win them voter brownie points. Authority figures love to demonize our favorite hobby -- don't let them. Avoid HD-formats, but embrace HD. The Blu-ray vs. HD-DVD debacle won't be sorted out in 2007, but high-def content is here to stay. Once you go HD, it's tough to go back.

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Xbox By Vladimir Cole

Implications of IPTV-enabled Xbox 360?

You've watched or listened to the keynote, checked out the interface screenshots, watched the video, or simply heard about it through one of the 250+ news organizations that have already covered Microsoft's plans to add IPTV capability to the Xbox 360 in time for consumermas 2007. So what? What might this mean for the console wars? How will this change the game? We're not nearly as smart or creative as our collected readership (after all, Time made YOU the person of the year), so rather than rack our brains, we'll sift through yours and publish the best responses in a subsequent post. Task: in your pithy best, share how you believe that this announcement might change the console war now underway, if at all. Let's get a couple obvious ones out of the way first: A larger hard drive is assured. Ain't no DVR going on with a measly 20GB hard drive. Perhaps content partners might offer free Xbox 360s to consumers who purchase multi-month (or multi-year) IPTV service contracts, in much the same way that mobile phone service providers offer highly subsidized phones for customers who sign a one- or two-year service agreement. Sony announces intent to match this functionality, but does as well copying Xbox IPTV as they've done copying Xbox Live.

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PC Gaming

PC Gaming By Vladimir Cole

Top XBLA title Geometry Wars headed to PC [update 1]

During the Microsoft keynote at CES on Sunday, Microsoft gave us evidence that surprise hit Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved (an Xbox 360 launch title) is headed to the PC (the confirmation occurs at timestamp 44:28 on the official keynote video). No surprise there, because genuine hits like GW are so rare that hay must be made while the sun shines. We've already blogged about a mobile version of the game; a PC version was inevitable. No word on timing or price, but it wouldn't be unreasonable to expect it to land this year for between $5 (the price on XBLA) and $20 (the price for most "casual" PC games). [Update 1: noted that confirmation occurs at timestamp 44:28 on the official keynote video.]

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Microsoft

Microsoft By Vladimir Cole

Miss the Gates CES keynote? Full audio/video available now [update 1]

Sure, you probably caught the Engadget liveblog of the keynote, but Microsoft just published streaming video for the keynote given by Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates. Let us know what sorts of interesting things pop out at you after a more careful inspection of the keynote. If the video stream proves too glitchy, Xbox Live's Major Nelson has posted audio-only files. [Update 1: looks like the video stream isn't quite working yet, despite a note on the official Microsoft at CES blog indicating that video would be available 10 pm PST on Sunday. Keep hitting the link, it'll eventually show up.

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Gaming By Vladimir Cole

What if... you could learn real guitar through games?

When the New York Times wrote about the PC Recording Studio Guitar (a guitar that plugs in to a Mac or PC via USB), we wondered immediately whether the device could be used for a more authentic guitar-hero experience. Instead of mindless entertainment that does little to advance skills that are appreciated by the non-gaming public, game technology could be used to teach us skills that might help us climb the Maslovian pyramid to self actualization. If a capable game developer were to write a strong rhythm game that used a real guitar as a controller, we'd gladly slap down the 200 bones required to learn guitar. It'd be a steal, and an investment in the future.

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Gaming By Vladimir Cole

Settlers of Catan ... hot! Now where is it?

Joystiq readers have long asked for Settlers of Catan to be brought to Xbox Live Arcade. When Microsoft confirmed that they're working on the game, some readers rejoiced: "Now THAT is cool. It almost makes a Nintendo fanboy like me want to buy a 360." -- RiemannMeetLebesgue "A dream come true. All current online versions of Settlers of Catan are missing the main aspect of the game... voice communication. I cannot wait for this game." -- Ray Kasten "prepare for the new most addicting game on XBL" -- Deadpool "YES!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS BOARD GAME SO MUCH! This is the best news I've ever heard for 360 :-)" -- CrossFireXT17 (You get the picture.) But some Joystiqers (self included) never really understood what all the fuss was about. Well, count another convert, as of last night. Here's a (brief) tale of how I became a Settlers of Catan addict. The invitation to the New Year's Eve get-together encouraged partygoers to bring their favorite board or card games. Being provincial, I brought over a couple DSs with Tetris DS, intending to share my love of head-to-head Tetris with attendees. When I arrived, however, a game of Settlers of Catan had just been laid out on the dining room table. Curious to see what the fuss was about, I put away the DSs. They were not touched all evening. We had trouble tearing ourselves away from the game board for the New Year's countdown, we were so into the game. After the ball dropped over the slack-jawed revelers in Times Square, we returned to the den and played for a couple more hours. Settlers of Catan plays like a multiplayer version of Civilization, with four players taking turns to build roads, settlements, and cities in an attempt to control scarce natural resources. It's simple, it's fun, and it's -- huzzah! -- coming to XBLA, eventually. Waiting's hard, though -- I've already filled and abandoned two shopping carts full of Settlers merch, but will wait to see if the XBLA version satisfies the jones. [Image credit: Shifting Lands.com's homebew 3d Settlers of Catan set.]

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News

News By Vladimir Cole

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, readers (except those of you in Hawaii, who still have about a few minutes to go before you've joined us in 2007). 2006 was a wild year, what with the release of the Wii and PS3. Over the course of 2006, we made 7,269 posts on Joystiq.com alone, and you added over 276,000 comments to those posts. Nice. Because we haven't yet written our New Year's resolutions, we'd like to give you a chance to influence them when we do sit down to put together Joystiq's 2007 resolutions. What should we do different? What should we focus on? What do you think our top five resolutions should be for 2007?

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Nintendo By Vladimir Cole

Girlfriend's gift to boyfriend: Mario Bros hoodie

Flickr user "Sabellachan" made this sweet hoodie for her boyfriend for consumermas, then shot him in the back with her new D80 as he strolled down Palo Alto streets. Nice work on both counts. For fun and insight into our editorial process here at Joystiq, we share with you rejected headlines for this post: Mushrooms, they're the new Viagra Mushrooms, "We're here to pump [clap] you up!" Bigger mushrooms make him. An existential dilemma solved by fungus. What's black, white, red, and worn all over?

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Gaming By Vladimir Cole

Bankshot Billiards 2 - free for one reader [update 1]

If you're the first Joystiq reader to find the code we've hid in a Joystiq post, you'll earn yourself a free copy of Bankshot Billiards 2 (a $15 Xbox Live Arcade title). The code's been embedded in a post tagged "XBLA" (joystiq.com/tag/xbla). Let the scavenger hunt begin! Good luck! Update 1: The contest has been won. The code was contained in this post. Congrats to the winner!] [Image credit: Flickr user TheCapt'n]

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Xbox By Vladimir Cole

Quarter gobblers are broken on XBLA [update 2]

Joystiq reader "epobirs" disagreed with our comment earlier today that Xbox Live Arcade title Gauntlet is broken. We'd like to dig into the issue a little more, because we feel that developers are missing a major opportunity to resurrect the true arcade experience. Games like Gauntlet were designed for an era in which expensive game cabinets were purchased by small businessmen who hoped that the large up-front purchase would be paid for (and them some) by teens plunking quarter after quarter into the machines in order to keep playing. Game designers therefore had to make sure (1) that the average player would die frequently; (2) that the game was fun enough to convince the average player to drop another quarter in the slot. Gauntlet, released in 1985 (at the height of the arcade craze) was a masterpiece of the form. It greedily gobbled quarters from addicted gamers who were enthralled by the game's tight design. What made the game so fun was the fact that your money was always at stake. A mistake meant that you had to reach into your pocket and insert more money. There was a constant tension between performance and pocketbook, and this tension made the game. Every non coin-operated release of Gauntlet since then has missed the point. The Xbox Live Arcade version, for instance, allows players to hit a button on the Xbox 360 controller in order to simulate putting a quarter in the machine. Of course, a button press costs nothing, and so the essential tension is lost. The game loses a fundamental game play mechanism by replacing quarter insertion with button pressing. What we'd love to see is a release of Gauntlet for Xbox Live Arcade (or for a competing service) that's free (or very cheap) to "purchase" but that costs $.25 per health increase (equivalent to 20 MS Points). The developer that brings back this core game play mechanism will claim the title of "most authentic arcade experience." We're certain that are some great arcade titles slated for release in 2007. They'd be better if they stayed true to the arcade experience.

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Buying Guides

Buying Guides By Vladimir Cole

Top 20 XBLA titles purchased in 2006

Xbox Live's Major Nelson posted some interesting year-end numbers, including this ranking of 2006's top Xbox Live Arcade titles ranked in order of sales: 1 UNO 2 Street Fighter II' Hyper Fighting 3 Geometry Wars Evolved 4 Marble Blast Ultra 5 PAC-MAN 6 DOOM 7 Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 8 GALAGA 9 Gauntlet 10 Frogger 11 Bankshot Billiards 2 12 SmashTV 13 Contra 14 Zuma 15 Texas Hold 'em 16 Bejeweled 2 17 Feeding Frenzy 18 Small Arms 19 Cloning Clyde 20 LUMINES LIVE! A few comments: 1. Who the heck is purchasing Gauntlet? That game is broken! (Hitting "Y" on the controller is the same as inserting a quarter into the original arcade game, but it can be hit an unlimited number of times, making it equivalent to an "invincibility" button.) Gauntlet's place on this list demonstrates the power of nostalgia over gameplay when it comes to arcade titles. We suspect that Nintendo's virtual console is benefiting from the same misguided gamer nostalgia. Some old games just don't hold up. 2. Most (all?) annual Xbox Live Gold subscriptions sold in the retail box (the one with the cheapo headset) included a free game code to redeem Bankshot Billiards 2, making that $15 game's rank on this list suspect. 3. Feeding Frenzy would be higher on this list if there were a reason to pay for it. It feels like the demo mode lasts forever. It's quite satisfying to play without ever purchasing it. 4. Street Fighter II would have been number one on this list if a solid arcade joystiq had been released simultaneously with the game. First- and third-party peripheral manufacturers really blew an opportunity there.

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