Company claims method of harnessing electricity from trees

Seemingly from the same school of scientific thought as the person who brought us the "car that runs on water, man!" is a gentleman named Gordon Wadle who claims to have found a very simple way to draw electricity from trees. After studying lightning which emanates from the ground, Wadle began trying to harness this so-called terrestrial power by driving nails into trees and attaching them to copper water pipes driven into the ground. Although so far the process only produces a voltage that fluctuates between .8 and 1.2-volts (making it completely useless), Wadle managed to convince a company called MagCap to support his research and a law firm to file patents on his behalf. MagCap President Chris Lagadinos is hoping to produce stable 12-volt electricity by the end of 2006, although energy experts seem to be of the mind that this whole thing is a bunch of hogwash. Still, if these guys can somehow pull this off (and without damaging the trees), we'll finally be able to free ourselves from the oppressive oil cartel by simply planting a small oak in our passenger seats.