The latest gossip: eMac wants a nip/tuck

AppleInsider, one of our primary sources for that contraband we like to call "Apple rumors", is claiming to have the word on a new education Mac to replace the now defunct eMac. Apparently the all-new eMac will be based around G5 processors and.... wait. That article's from two years ago! We can only conclude that when AppleInsider brought us news of the G5 eMac that they were joking. Obviously, now they're being serious.

This latest rumor features several key points:

  • There was an education based Mac in the past and there isn't one now. AppleInsider connects the dots using complex logic to predict that Apple is making a new education Mac.

  • Teachers and schools will be buying computers in the summer to be ready for the next semester. When people want to buy things, you should try to sell things.

  • Apple went Intel, so the new eMac will feature an Intel chip. Not a G5 or any of those crappy PowerPC things - who ever liked them anyway?

  • The eMac's bulky enclosure was its most expensive part. Apple will therefore choose NOT to lose money on an expensive, pointless and bulky enclosure for the next eMac. A tough choice to make.

  • Thanks to that aggressive rumor scrounging that AppleInsider does on our behalf, they obtained the extremely specific information that the new eMac *might* be available to the average consumer. But it also might not.

For extra entertainment, place the word "duh" after every bullet point.