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Platinum-coated virus to be used for speedy memory

All the hip-cool scientists these days are enslaving living organisms to do their bidding. Luckily, they're sticking with the micro end of the size spectrum, or "nano" end in this case. Apparently they've managed to create some supa' fast memory chips by coating 30-nanometer-long bits of tobacco mosaic virus (pictured above in its natural habitat) with itsy-bitsy platinum nanoparticles. Millions of these virus transistors could eventually end up in MP3 players or digital cameras, speeding up image capture or file transfer. We're not exactly sure what makes these virus transistors so special, but apparently the transistors they've built out of the nano-coated strands, and sandwiched between two electrodes, are easy to switch between ON and OFF states, since they don't need to build up a charge at a lame-o capacitor before they can be switched. We suppose we'll just have to trust the methods of these "well meaning scientists who might just instigate the end of civilization through their attempts to advance humanity through science." If it means faster memory chips, that's a risk we're willing to take.