Celebrity patents unearthed

We've been a little bummed that since Google's launch of its Patent search engine we haven't had the time to pore over it yet, but thankfully not everyone is preparing for CES. Ironic Sans unearthed no less than 18 bizarre and unusual celebrity patents by entertainment A-lisers not normally renowned for following in the footsteps of Dean Kamen. Obviously our pick for favorite was Eddie Van Halen's "musical instrument support" which makes two handed shredding that much easier (really though, did the patent drawing need to be shirtless too?), although other curiosities include Hedy Lamar's "secret communication system", Jamie Lee Curtis's "infant garment" diaper design, Lawrence Welk's "Welk ash tray", Goerge Lucas's patent on a demonic Yoda toy figure design, Penn Jillette's sexually jilted "hydro-therapeutic stimulator" hot tub (what? possibly NSFW), and perhaps the mostly slyly odd, Michael Jackson's "Method and means for creating anti-gravity illusion". We highly recommend perusing these patents -- much is to be gained from peering into the minds of the world's greatest celebrity / inventors, whose creations may one day truly touch the lives of the everyman.