Last week's keynotes dissected, Steve Jobs wins over the preschooler set

Because analysts really don't have anything better to do now that all their random predictions for product launches have already been shattered by the announcements made on stage by Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and Michael Dell last week, some Seattle P-I stat junkies threw together a completely nerdy assessment of the keynote speeches by those three industry icons, and shared it with an awaiting public that doesn't really have anything to do now but whine about the lack of 3G on the iPhone. It would appear Dell and Gates are the nerds of the bunch, using 6.4% and 5.11% "hard words," respectively -- compared to Jobs' 2.9% -- and stringing together fancy sentences 16.5 words and 21.6 words long, while Jobs did it up children's book style at 10.5 words per sentence. Jobs also kept his lexical density (ratio of content to words) low, at 16.5% compared to 21.0% for Gates and 26.3% for Dell. Finally, the Gunning Fog Index (don't give us that look, we warned you going into this) which measures the average years of education needed to understand a text, rated Jobs' transcript at 5.5, Dell at 9.1 and Gates at a whoppin' 10.7. The scores don't reflect any non-keynote-speaker time, such as the comic relief of Dr. Evil at Dell's keynote, or John Mayer's serenades at Jobs'. As for specific words, "gaming" won hands down at Dell, Microsoft seems to be about equally interested in "devices," "great" and "Windows," while Apple held no surprises, emphasizing "phone," "iPhone," and "iPod." There, now don't you feel edified?