And the Lord said unto Sony, '01101000 01100...'

With pointy hats and staffs stowed in a coat-check of pure gold, Catholic bishops have decreed the use of mass, digital communications to spread the word of the bible in as many languages as possible. In a statement just issued to the flock, the bishops said:

"The voice of the Divine Word must resonate over the radio, on Internet channels with virtual distribution (and by) CDs, DVDs and iPods, and on television and cinema screens."

The implied message here is very clear: God hates the Blu-ray.