Rotgutonix -- the slightly paranoid, somewhat discerning drunk's best friend

So concerned with the quality of the liquor you binge-drink that you think a testing device that looks just like a pregnancy test is in order? Sweet -- Rotgutonix has got you covered! Just uncap the tip, dip it in your drink for a few seconds -- and you'll have an answer in under a minute -- and while the device is only capable of recognizing five liquors at this point, the company hopes future iterations will include up to twenty. Sure, it's a novelty item, and likely won't actually be able to tell you if that Johnnie Walker you're swilling is "rotgut," i.e., poison, but it's fun, right? Of course, you could just do what we do -- subsist entirely on seltzer -- and save yourself the trouble of having to wonder if your alcohol is poison (probably). Sadly, it seems to be unavailable for purchase yet, but we're going to keep our eyes out for this one, we assure you.