'Toasted skin syndrome' caused by extreme laptop heat say researchers

In a new study from the medical journal Pediatrics, researchers confirm what you've known all along: laptop heat is the greatest threat to mankind's continued survival on this planet. In the report, researchers collected and analyzed various tales of woe from youngsters who'd been treated for exposure to extreme laptop heat, and discovered that prolonged periods of use can lead to a condition horrifically dubbed "toasted skin syndrome." The effects of gaming (or, uh, studying) too hard can leave skin in a mottled, sponge-like state, can cause permanent skin darkening, and generally makes you less attractive to the opposite sex -- from a lap perspective. When viewed under a microscope, the damage is similar to that of long-term sun exposure, and though unlikely in the case of laptop heat, prolonged skin irritation is linked to increased rates of some forms of skin cancer. Researchers suggest placing a carrying case or "heat shield" between you and your computer if you've got to keep it in your lap. At Engadget, the entire team has been issued Kevlar short-shorts -- we suggest you take similar precautions.