Google Maps-powered training bike simulates Tour de France, refuses to speak English

Poor France. The nation known mostly for its food and wine only has a few major sporting events to call its own, yet we -- great, fat and lazy America -- have pwned its most iconic one for seven years. That legacy could still live on -- if you don't mind shelling out $1299 and sweating all over your living room floor, that is. Powered by Google Maps and touted as the official trainer of Le Tour de France, comes a Pro-Form training bike so hardcore, it even simulates potholes. Ok, we made that last part up, but it does allow you to feel the burn of 24 pre-set courses, or one of your own punishing design. For the ultra-committed indoor enthusiast, there's also Intelligent Wind Resistance and a 20 percent incline / decline feature that'll match the ups and downs of real life outdoor cycling without the hassle of the actual outdoors. Honestly, it's a bit much and we can't really see this thing taking off with the New Year's Eve resolution set, but if you've always wanted that biker's derriere, this is your trainer.