Scientists find less damaging defibrillation method, heart tissue relieved

Good news, aging Earthlings: a team of researchers have found a way to shock a coding patient's heart, while leaving other organs and tissues undamaged from the defibrillator. The device send a single high voltage pulse of electrical energy to a patient's chest in order to fix an irregular or nonexistent heart beat; traditionally, what often results is damage to point of contact and surrounding skin cells, muscles and tissues, but a team of whiz kids have seemingly figured out a way to dodge the dreadfulness.

Led by scientists Stefan Luther and Flavio Fenton, the team claims that by using a series of five pulses of less potent shocks (instead of a single concentrated charge), docs can see an 84 percent reduction in damaging power. This new technology -- coined low-energy antifibrillation pacing (LEAP) -- can also be used in implanted defibrillators, not just the well-known flappy paddles. Due to the relatively low emissions, both the patient and such implants have extended lives. And that, friends, is good for us all -- given the impending Robot Apocalypse, we'll be needing those extra years just to hold down the fort.