If you have lots of rubbing alcohol, Lick app may just improve your love life

Sometimes people lack certain skills in life, skills that may affect their love life. The question is: how far would you go to gain those skills? Would you lick your iPhone to improve them? Even knowing where your phone has been? Lick is an important app that forces you to answer that frankly disgusting question. Love is a battlefield after all, and everyone knows war is hell.

Lick is a web app that wants you to get busy with your phone. You can view the site here, but the true meat of its content is only available via touch screen devices. After you pull it up on your iOS device, navigation is controlled via licking your screen. Once inside, Lick offers up three separate levels of "tongue training."

Level 1 is flicking a light switch up and down as many times as you can, level 2 requires you to turn the crank of a pencil sharpener in a circle, while level 3 is sort of a freestyle session where you aim to keep a ball in the air. Again, all using your tongue.

On your iPhone.

Which -- let's be honest -- you probably also use in relatively unsanitary places. We're trying to be classy about this, so think about where you clear most of your Instapaper queue. Yeah, that place.

So in the interest of promoting public health, here's how to practice safe licking:

Method 1: Place saran wrap over your screen. Get to business.

Method 2: Rubbing alcohol. Lots and lots and lots of rubbing alcohol. Get the 90% isopropyl alcohol from your local pharmacy. Put some on a paper towel. Clean your screen. Repeat until the voice in your head stops screaming "what are you doing?" Get to business. Then clean your screen again with alcohol. Then probably consider contacting a priest or a therapist.

If all this sounds absolutely insane to you, perhaps you should watch this trailer. Maybe we're slowly licking our way to the future. Either way, please for the love of God clean your phone first if you try this. Or at least use protection.