Snapchat’s astrological profiles might be the pandemic escapism we need

It's better than doomscrolling. really.


At the risk of stating the obvious: 2020 hasn’t exactly been the easiest year. Chances are, you need some kind of mental health break. And if you’re a Snapchat user, that might just be a horoscope. Yes, a horoscope.

The app is introducing a new feature that adds detailed horoscopes to users’ profiles. With the new astrological profiles (which require your birthday, as well as exact birth time and location) you can get a Bitmoji-fueled breakdown of your personality based on Snapchat’s astrological analysis. And, if your friends also opt-in to the feature, you can see a “compatibility profile” that analyzes how your sun sign may impact your relationship.

Snap says the feature is meant to to “kickstart rich, meaningful conversations about your friendships.” And the profiles are surprisingly in-depth. If you’re used to back-of-the-magazine horoscopes or even Co-Star’s pithy notifications, the Snapchat-created profiles are something else entirely.

The profiles generate an assessment based on ten “planetary dimensions.” I still don’t know what that means, but it’s without a doubt the lengthiest horoscope I’ve encountered. For example, in the 1,200 word Snap-created profile for me and my partner, I learned that we “get along easily,” but also “may trigger each other in unexpected and powerful ways.” Our “social lives mesh easily” and our “vibes here are super strong.” Do I know what any of this really means? No. Did I need Snapchat to tell me this? Not really! But it’s a whole lot better than more doomscrolling.