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Spiritual Guidance: The worst shadow priest raiding application ever
Each Wednesday, Spiritual Guidance is taken over by shadow priest ambassador Fox Van Allen. Named one of People Magazine's "Most Influential People" in 1984, Fox finished ahead of both Secretary of State James Baker III (#8) and actress Farrah Fawcett (#9). Where was Dawn Moore on that list? She tied Press Your Luck host Peter Tomarkin at #273. It was a very comprehensive list, you see. Icecrown Citadel, in some capacity, has been open for business for over six months now. There's some good news and bad news in that statement. It's definitely bad news for established raiding groups -- once core members have established themselves as Kingslayers, they're likely to start losing interest in raiding. That's good news, too, at least for people interested in becoming Kingslayers themselves -- it's an ideal time to be looking for a raid group, even if you're not a perfect, hardcore raider. While opportunities are increasingly plentiful, any raid group worth joining is going to have some semblance of standards. You can't just walk in off the street just because you're a shadow priest and they're looking for one -- you have to prove yourself a little bit first. That's what this week's column is all about: understanding what raid teams are looking for and understanding how to best present yourself. In the spirit of Goofus and Gallant, we'll teach by showing you what not to do. I will be playing the part of the handsome Gallant. Playing Goofus today is Mookie Wilson, New York Met and villain (or hero, whatever) of the 1986 World Series.
Spiritual Guidance: A shadowy work in progress
The Spiritual Guidance duo, Fox Van Allen and Dawn Moore, haven't always gotten along so well. While some attribute that to the natural way that the shadow abhors the light, the real reason is the time they were on The Price is Right together in 2003. I mean, two hundred dollars for a grandfather clock, Dawn? What were you thinking? Some days, I wish Spiritual Guidance was a TV show. Not only would the world be better able to appreciate my own physical beauty, but I'd be able to do one of those "Last time, on Spiritual Guidance" opening montages, filled with dramatic clips that tell you exactly what happened last week. "Fox, we need to get to level 10, and fast! Before the orphanage explodes!" "But if you're the Priest trainer ... then who's that?" "You're not casting Smite enough! Faster! Faster! More Smite NOW! Hurry, there's not much time!" KABOOM! "The orphans, they're on fire! Quick, cast Renew!" Things are often a lot more awesome in my head than in real life, I'm afraid. Still, last week, we did address the process of starting a new priest, getting him geared up with heirlooms (or heaven forfend, green items) and the basics of the early spells (Smite, lol). This week, we're digging a bit deeper, getting to 20, rocking some instances and doing some PvP -- that's right, life as a priest is finally ready to begin. Follow me after the cut. And don't mind the random explosions and orphan debris -- they're just there for next week's opening montage.
Spiritual Guidance: Starting a shadow priest from scratch
Like all shadow priests, Fox Van Allen is a resilient sort. He has few weaknesses: accidentally dropping Shadowform by casting a holy spell; the silver arrow from the far upper left room in level 9; and his own gargantuan ego. By comparison, Dawn Moore's weaknesses include scratchy sweaters, Shadowfiend bites, and the nasty case of the sniffles she gets when the thermostat dips below 67. The Sunday edition is all about warmth, hugs and kisses. Today is Wednesday. It was a cold December day when the respawn timer ticked, creating the most elite shadow priest to ever grace the Wednesday version of Spiritual Guidance. "Surely, he'll make a fine holy spec priest one day," the nurses assumed. "Such fortitude! And, why look, he can cast Smite already!" "In between sips of milk, of course." "Of course." Those of us who already made the journey from level 1 to level 80 no doubt have some mixed feelings about the earliest, most formative years of our shadow priest. Heck, even mages, balance druids, elemental shaman, warlocks know the same pain. Starting a new caster can be a repetitive experience. The good news, of course, is that World of Warcraft is revitalizing the leveling process in Cataclysm. They're giving us Shadow Orbs and refurbishing our talent tree to make shadow priests feel more like shadow priests. That's great. I can't wait for the change. But still, if you haven't started a new priest in the last few months, you may have missed some of the more recent changes to the leveling process. It really is better now, and I can honestly say there's been no better time to start a priest. Why wait until Cataclysm? (And don't you dare say because you want to roll a gnome.)
Cataclysm Talent Preview: Shadow priests
On Thursday, Blizzard released brand new information regarding talent builds in Cataclysm. Surely, all of us World of Warcraft addicts are grateful for the slow tease of information. Of course, a lot of the "new" information was already data mined and leaked from the alpha over a month ago. I covered a lot of the changes to the shadow tree in a previous column, Ghostly aspects of our shadowy hatepower. Shadowy Apparitions, Shadow Orbs, getting rid of Shadow Focus, spirit contributing to our hit rating -- it's all in there. I won't bore you with all the details I covered already. But it's not all old news, of course. There's some new stuff in there, and there is stuff to be excited about. I'm getting more optimistic about shadow priesting in Cataclysm with each drop of new information, and it feels like Blizzard might actually be listening to us. Seriously. Listen, the standard caveats apply here -- it's really early to talk about this stuff and this could all change. But it'd be really quiet and boring around here today if we didn't.
Spiritual Guidance: Soloing 5-man content the shadow priest way
Dawn Moore is at it again, running misleading, sleazy ads against Spiritual Guidance's Fox Van Allen. What's she trying to hide? We know that Fox Van Allen, self-appointed high priest of the shadows, favors lower hybrid taxes, a strong [3. Local Defense] and securing our borders with the timely use of Mind Flay and Shadowfiends. Maybe Dawn is trying to hide that she favors higher taxes on your DPS, that she voted repeatedly to give valuable Renews to those playing the game illegally and is flat-out soft on gnomes. Dawn Moore. Wrong for priests. Wrong for Azeroth. (Paid for by the Committee to Elect Fox Van Allen.) End -of-expansion ennui. It's inevitable. I'll admit, even though I've yet to see the Lich King downed on hard mode, a lot of the Wrath content is growing stale for me. I'm playing alts more often (Recruit-A-Friend really is a great way to experience the game). I'm spending more time at the auction house. Basically, I'm trying to find new and different ways to experience the game. That's our general idea today: experiencing the game in a new way. A way that Blizzard didn't really intend, but a way that still holds a lot of entertainment value. A way that proves that shadow priests are, in fact, as awesome as five other players put together. That's right, I'm suggesting you try soloing some old school 5-man content. Why would you want to? You're bored as hell with all the Northrend stuff you've been running every day for the last one-and-a-half years. It's a new challenge that requires you to approach World of Warcraft in an entirely different way than you're used to. You probably don't have the all the 5-man BC achievements if you started your character after fall of 2008. You can farm a lot of valuable enchanting materials, find some rare trade skills, items and pets, and walk away with a solid chunk of gold, besides. Best of all, doing stuff alone means that you can tell the GearScore elitists where to shove it. Interested? Rock. Follow me after the break, and let's figure a way to get this done.
Spiritual Guidance: Going to the dark side
Silvermoon City records show that Dawn Moore was born and raised by a loving fire mage and holy priest. Fox Van Allen? He crawled out of an ethereal sludge and was raised by warlock cultists. Dawn once saved some puppies and bunnies from a burning zeppelin while simultaneously defeating Undermine drug lords. Fox? He tried to eat those same bunnies. Each Sunday in Spiritual Guidance, Dawn brings you information on how to walk, talk, and dance like a holy or discipline priest. Fox brings you trollish recipes for gnome genocide. Dawn Moore: the choice is clear. [Paid for by priests for Dawn Moore - nsfw] It's about that time in a major content patch when things start to slow down. We've run all the 5-mans we can stomach, and in Icecrown Citadel we're starting to really close in on our goals as the 20% buff and our accumulated gear help to fill in the gaps of what we need to succeed. As this happens, your wish list of equipment is undoubtedly getting smaller; maybe you're done gearing up, or are just waiting for a few more pieces to drop. Maybe you're cursing my name for reminding you that you've had the most terrible luck at getting that wand, cloak, or whatever to drop. But regardless of where you are, I'm certain you've found yourself thinking, "hmm, I could use that for offspec." Like most classes, priests are starting to think about where to go next. Do I gear out an alternative healing set? Should I collect more spirit items for Cataclysm? Do I spend my extra badges on PvP gear? (Dawn says yes! But that's another article.) How about honing out skills in that other healing spec we don't like quite as much as our favorite? Oh, and then of course, there is always the sweet seduction of the shadows. Today, I've put together a little guide for healing priests who want to dabble in the darkness of the shadow tree. While there are notable differences between the styles of playing holy or discipline, the switch to shadow is more than just tossing on some hit gear and taking a trip to the trainer. But before we get started though, I have a small task for everyone.
Spiritual Guidance: Ghostly aspects of our shadowy hatepower
Every Wednesday, Fox Van Allen climbs atop the Shandor Building to summon Vinz Clortho, the keymaster, and Zuul, the gatekeeper. Once gathered, all three sit down at a computer keyboard and take control of Spiritual Guidance. Subcreatures! Fox the Van Allen, Van Allen the destructor, Foxus Van Allenarian, the traveler has come. Choose and perish. My not-so-gentle Spiritual Guidance readers, I have a confession to make. I'm filled with hate. I hate cats. I hate Hummel figurines. I hate trifling gnome Wilfred Fizzlebang. I hate the taste of whatever brand ketchup they use at McDonalds. Lots and lots of hate. Oh, if only there were a way to channel this magnificent ... shadowy hatepower. Ask and ye shall receive, my brethren! Not from me, mind you -- from Blizzard. (I mostly just give out shadow priesting knowledge with the occasional nod to pop culture.) This week, Spiritual Guidance is tackling the changes to the shadow priest spec that currently exist within the Cataclysm alpha. If you're adamant on being surprised and don't want anything spoiled, I recommend you stop reading now and instead invest your time in the following YouTube video. I feel it provides a respectable alternative. But if you want to take your loathing for the formulaic CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men and channel it into a spiritual agent of death, and you just can't wait until later this year to find out how ... follow me past the break.
Spiritual Guidance: Getting the most out of your emblems
In 1972, Fox Van Allen was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he didn't commit. He promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Boston underground. Today, still wanted by the government, he survives as a shadow priest columnist. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, if you find over-the-top gunfights where no one actually gets shot entertaining, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire ... Spiritual Guidance. I'm an admitted altaholic. My shadow priest will always be my first love, but since he's already a Kingslayer, I've been playing more and more with Shammyfox. She's a sassy little Draenei shaman who can Lava Burst with the best of 'em. Or, at least, with the best of 'em who have recently hit level 80. Her gear right now isn't the best, but I'd like to continue to progress her through the end game. Shadow priests are equipping different gear, of course, but the main challenge remains the same. It's not easy to figure out what to buy when to get the most value out of your emblems -- and your play time. If you hit 80 shortly after the Wrath release, you'd have run regular instances to gear up for heroics, so you could gather enough blues and purples to take on Naxx, where you'd get gear to take on Ulduar, where you'd get gear to take on Trial of the Crusader and Trial of the Grand Crusader. Yeah, yeah, grandpa, we get it. You walked through ten feet of snow 87 miles a day to get to school. The old way is passé. We bypass old raid content with emblems and supercharged heroics now -- great news for the casual player or dedicated altaholic. But how do you get the most out of those hard-earned emblems and get ICC ready without even stepping foot inside a raid instance?
Spiritual Guidance: The GearScore is a lie
In the time of ancient gods, warlords and kings, a land cried out for a hero. She was Dawn Moore, a mighty princess ... forged in the heat of battle. The power, the passion, the danger. Her courage will change the world. But she's not available on Wednesdays, so Fox Van Allen is here to take over Spiritual Guidance for her and screw with everything the light holds dear. Sorry. I regularly get email (fox-at-wow-dot-com) every now and then from the Spiritual Guidance fan club. Some send me awesome screenshots (like the great old school BC one above sent by Igantinos -- thanks!), some ask for advice, and others ask for my best roasted gnome recipes. I'm glad to help when I can. Every once in a while, though, I get an email that breaks my heart. The start was inauspicious enough: a request to analyze whether his DPS was up to par based on their GearScore. It's a pretty common request. I wrote him back with a few suggestions on improving his numbers. His gear was pretty good -- he was decked out in a lot of level 232 gear he found in the new Icecrown 5-man instances and full tier 9 -- so I didn't have much to offer there except to suggest he start looking at tier 10. I gave a little bit of gemming advice and closed with a request that he swap out his trinkets. He had Purified Lunar Dust in one slot and the even worse Talisman of Resurgence (item level 245) in the second. Now, don't get me wrong, there are worse trinkets you could go around having -- an upgrade is always an upgrade. But I was confused as to why he'd spend hard-earned emblems on them over far better gear. The answer was frustrating. He picked them up "to appease the GS-is-everything crowd."
Spiritual Guidance: The GearScore is a lie, Page 2
Let's get something straight now, though: The trinkets you can buy with emblems stink for shadow priests. Save your emblems. The item level 245 Talisman of Resurgence is one of the banes of my existence.
Spiritual Guidance: Some shadowy notes from the Twitter dev chat
Once a long-upstanding follower of the light, Spiritual Guidance woke up this morning in Deathknell with a little bit less flesh than usual and a bizarre "maggot-ish" taste in its mouth. Since the creatures from the Nether didn't seem to want the column, Fox Van Allen took it in (like he does every Wednesday), put 58 of its talent points in shadow, and corrupted it in the most beautiful way possible. Let's get something straight: I'm really excited about Cataclysm. Last week's hyperbole aside, I'm not ready to storm the gates. I'm not going to hang up my shadow priestly robes in protest (to the dismay of certain folk). I'm can guarantee you that I'll be one of those people standing out in the cold midnight air on the release date. I'll even call in sick to work the following day with a severe case of Devouring Plague. As a nice little supplement to the class changes we learned about earlier in the month, Blizzard held a #Blizzchat on Twitter this past Friday. Not a whole heck of a lot of valuable questions were answered, but it did hold some actual promising news for shadow priests and a little bit more insight on what's coming for us in Cataclysm. Yes, I said promising news. This week, we're shelving the QQ.
Spiritual Guidance: The case of shadow priests v. Blizzard
Despite Ms. Moore's best attempt at poisoning him this past weekend, Fox Van Allen triumphantly returns, spending 13% of his base mana to drop Spiritual Guidance back into Shadowform. His holy adversary's misguided attempt at sacerdoticide failed due to two key miscalculations: (1) holy priests are laughably pathetic when it comes to causing damage over time, and (2) she failed to consider that the proverbial stick up Mr. Van Allen's ass is indeed a cleansing totem. Oh, you lucky shadow priests, you. Last Thursday afternoon, you were treated to a bonus column by yours truly providing some surface level analysis to the upcoming shadow priest changes in Cataclysm. I tried to keep things as level-headed as I could, but a tone of cautious disappointment seeped through. Those of you who follow me on Twitter saw a much uglier reaction to the changes Thursday morning. Perhaps I jumped the gun. Perhaps I was setting the bar way too high for priests when I saw how Blizzard vomited all sorts of awesome upon shamans of all stripes. I want my damn pony, and I was pissed off that I didn't get it. So, okay, emotions have cooled. I've had time to digest the changes, to compare the ponies that we were promised against the ponies that Ghostcrawler promised the other classes, if you will. There's only one thing left to do: hold Blizzard on trial for crimes of high treason against the shadow priest spec, of course. You shadow priests will make a fairly unbiased jury, don't you think? /cough
Cataclysm Class Preview: Shadow priest analysis
As the person here at WoW.com tasked with following all things shadow, I was essentially on call all day yesterday, waiting for the priest changes for Cataclysm to drop. Around lunch time, I had already seen the shaman changes and I was getting excited. The bar was set pretty high. When the change list for priests finally hit (at 3 a.m. EDT; thanks, Blizzard), my reaction was somewhat muted. There are some cool changes in store for priests to be sure. Holy priests assumedly get Leap of Faith, the diametric opposite of a death knight's Death Grip. Disc priests get a multi-player version of Power Word: Shield. Did the shadow priests get something just as cool? We got a situational nuke, but it's hard to say it's inspired. We also got some great changes to our DoTs. But so far as stepping up the cool factor is concerned, the status of shadow priests in Cataclysm is yet to be determined. There's an intriguing new mechanic in place for the class, but whether or not it winds up being ground-breaking, innovative or even fun depends entirely on the execution.
Spiritual Guidance: Compensating for the failure of others
Theorizing that one could shadow priest within his own lifetime, Dr. Fox Van Allen stepped into the Shadowform accelerator ... and vanished. He awoke to find himself the Spiritual Guidance columnist, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change shadow priests for the better. His only guide on this journey is his Gnomemuncher, an observer from his own time who appears in the form of a Shadowfiend that only Fox can see and hear. And so, Dr. Van Allen finds himself leaping from column to column, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next column ... will be filled with dead gnomes. I am the most awesome shadow priest of all time. Okay, so maybe that's a severe exaggeration. Still, I'm starting to max out on my gear and I feel increasingly out of place in Northrend heroics. It's hard to run them without pulling aggro off a tank simply by virtue of being there. As time goes on, more and more of you will find yourself in a similar situation: You're exceptionally geared. You know your class and your spell priorities. You churn out rockin' DPS. You keep getting better, but the tanks and healers you're thrown into random groups with don't. The random dungeon finder relies a lot on luck. Sometimes, you wind up with a bad tank. Sometimes, you wind up with a bad healer. Worst-case scenario, both are going to stink. Unless you like running back to your corpse, these situations require you to use your brain and adjust your play.
Spiritual Guidance: The professional priest
Welcome back to Spiritual Guidance, hosted by the spectacularly dark Fox Van Allen. Though he should be preparing for his final showdown against gnome-sympathizer and lolsmiter Dawn Moore, he has chosen to instead pop a few Flasks of Vodka Tonic (with that sweet Mixology bonus) and spend all night kareoke-ing with Mike Sacco. He's not afraid of those sick 4000 damage crits that a holy priest can score with Smite! What's that? Casting smite *again*? Hard to do when your mind is flayed into pudding. We've bested Sartharion on a three-dragon run. We've looked into Sindragosa's icy maw and laughed. None of that is especially impressive if we're still living in our parents' basement cause we can't find a job. It's time to put that shadow priest of ours to work. The number one rated profession for shadow priests is being the WoW.com columnist, but since that job's already taken, the rest of you will have to settle for standard Azerothian fare. And, ideally, you're going to want the one that makes your pew pew skills look all the more impressive. When I was leveling my shadow priest, I wasn't thinking much about the end game. I grabbed a pair of professions as soon as the game would let me: Tailoring and Enchanting. They served me well through leveling. But a few months into level 80, I got to thinking -- did I make the right choice?
Spiritual Guidance: Flaying Sindragosa (and friends)
Welcome back to Fox Van Allen's twisted, shadow-ish version of Spiritual Guidance, once again rescued from the diseased, holy mind of Dawn Moore. Presumably, she's currently languishing inside one of Sindragosa's Ice Tombs. I'd totally DPS her out of there, but according to the TV, this Slap Chop thing is a limited time offer, so I've really got to move if I want to get one. Bet she wishes she had Dispersion right about now. I could have sworn there was some kind of dragon encased in ice around here. Really. What's that? They chiseled it out of ice and moved it to Icecrown Citadel? The hell? When did that happen? December, you say? Those shambling horrors must shamble fast when I'm not looking. Or maybe I was just too drunk over the holidays to notice. Anyway. This bone dragon thing, it's not evil, is it? Oh. It is. Damn. Okay, I guess we'll go kill it. But first, we'll make this stop off and heal some generic green dragon we've never even heard of before, just to keep it from turning into some boss we'll have to fight later. Shadow priests, gather round as we storm the Frostwing Halls! We'll collect some fine loot! We'll also answer -- or at least ponder -- some existential questions. "Why can you Mind Flay a block of ice when it doesn't have a mind to flay? Why can you disease it?" All this after the break.
Spiritual Guidance: Bleeding the Blood Queen
On Wednesdays, Fox Van Allen takes control of Spiritual Guidance and spams all sorts of shadowy goodness. Pros: Fox Van Allen is awesome, shadow specced, and not a gnome. Cons: The shadow side of Spiritual Guidance is a limited duration spell, meaning gnome-sympathizer Dawn Moore will take over again later in the week. She's pretty much "everything that's wrong with wow.com," and she doesn't even have a Shadowfiend. Lame. I will not reference Twilight in my intro to The Crimson Halls. I will not reference Twilight in my intro to The Crimson Halls. SPARKLES TEAM JACOB OMG LOVE STORY ROBERT PATTENSON TURKISH MAN I KISS YOU STUPID BASEBALL SCENE ZAAAAAAHHHH!!!! ...Damnit. After a week's delay to try and write something that won't make newbie priests' eyes glaze over, we return to our epic series (so epic, it's colored purple) on Icecrown Citadel. We've already raided the ramparts. We've already busted down Putricide's lab. It's time to go face off against the Blood Princes and Blood Queen. Bring some stakes and holy water, because if you don't, you know they'll only come back to life again. Do you really want to face Prince Keleseth in Cataclysm? That's right, it's the Shadow Priests' guide to The Crimson Halls. Follow me after the break.
Spiritual Guidance: Survivability versus DPS
Every Wednesday (you know, ideally Wednesday, when he's not slacking off), Fox Van Allen grabs hold of Spiritual Guidance from her holiness Dawn Moore and makes everything just a little darker than usual. Don't worry, he usually remembers to unlock the closet and let her out when he's done. Usually. I wanted to take a brief break from the Spiritual Guidance series on raiding Icecrown Citadel (part 1; part 2) to answer an e-mail I got in response to it, because there's a really important lesson to be learned. Or a chance to complain about stuff. I'm pretty good at that. Why is "Stay Alive" in the strats? Are there strats where I should die? It's actually a good question. (The first part, not the second part -- we already know that only gnomes should be sacrificed on Saurfang post fix, and only then for the good luck the act brings.) Why go out of my way to state the obvious -- that your key mission is to stay alive? Simply put: Because staying alive is just not a priority for way too many DPS players. (I'd go as far as to say that way too many of you stink at it.) And the way some raid leaders treat their DPS, it's not even surprising that this is the case.
Spiritual Guidance: Raiding Icecrown Citadel, Part 2
Welcome to Spiritual Guidance with Fox Van Allen. Fox Van Allen is a caring nurturer, a member of several 12-step programs, but not a licensed therapist. He's going to do a great column on shadow priesting today. And he's gonna help people. Cause he's good enough, smart enough, and doggonit, people like him. Adjective-neutral news, everyone! A cadre of intrepid shadow priests cleared out the ramparts of Icecrown Citadel last week and are now preparing to strike at the heart of the Lich King's plague operations. This means taking on the fearsome Professor Farnsworth Putricide, but only after defeating his two mentally challenged children who seem to exist solely to fart, make "angry poo poo(s)," and eat up 15 minutes of your raid's time. At least you get to sift through their remains for new things to wear. Where's that laundromat in Dalaran again? As promised, follow me after the break for the shadow priest's guide to the Icecrown Plagueworks.
Spiritual Guidance: Raiding Icecrown Citadel (Part 1), Page 2
The gunship encounter is unlike any other in Icecrown Citadel. Before the battle begins, be sure to talk to the goblin on your ship and pick up a rocket pack. Your main attack is the Cannon Blast (the "1" key), which does siege damage to the enemy ship and that ship's defenders, if you have good aim.