If you were in gradeschool they'd make fun of your Siemens Bike-O-Meter

While we're having a tough enough time getting people to talk on headsets in the car, the Brits have gone right ahead and banned car cellphone calls entirely (what next, you're not allowed to talk to the passengers?). And since, you know, they're not gluttonous gas hogs they also bicycle a bit, so the Bike-O-Meter thing was kind of just waiting to happen. You attach it onto your "handlebars" (what the hell are those?) and you can make calls from your Siemens M65 just like that. Plus, now you have someone to blame when you wipe out in the hard British rain and hit a bunch of fat Yankee tourists.