Switched On: Don't Buy This Stuff
posted Jun 15th 2005 3:58PM
(Sung [roughly] to the tune of "Can't Buy Me Love")
Don't buy this stuff, no
Don't buy this stuff, no.
Don't buy this stuff.
The catalogs say Father's Day is a time for wacky gear.
But they've thrown quite a few our way of which I hope you'll steer clear.
Please don't go and waste your money. Sonny, don't buy this stuff.
Now fifteen small at Brookstone buys a big black massaging chair.
But this goes for a tenth of that 'cause you blow it up with air.
In a dorm this might be funny. Sonny, don't buy this stuff.
Don't buy this stuff, no. No massage chairs you can stow.
Don't buy this stuff, no. No no no no.
The hassle of inflation and cheesy looks that would appall '
No wonder the dude sitting there's a lobotomized Ken doll.
A lost frontal lobe would stun me. Sonny, don't buy this stuff.
If PETA found this singing head, they might think that they're in luck.
But do not scrimp on Father's Day with attempts to save a buck.
No singing bass, trout or tunny. Sonny, don't buy this stuff.
Don't buy this stuff, no. Karaoke deer must go.
Don't buy this stuff, no. No no no no.
Now if I had a trophy room and I dared to mount this thing.
The hunted's ghosts would haunt me like in some book by Stephen King,
I don't want to fear a bunny. Sonny, don't buy this stuff.
Inflatable cabanas are just an eyesore in my view.
The model's not included. (I wonder if she inflates, too.)
With two-piece or sack of gunny, sonny, don't buy this stuff.
Don't buy this stuff, no. Things that blow up tend to blow.
Don't buy this stuff, no. No no no no.
This won't make women show up next to the pools at posh estates.
See, I don't go to Ridgemont High and that sure ain't Phoebe Cates.
Don't fall for this brunette honey. Sonny, don't buy this stuff.
Ross Rubin is director of industry analysis at NPD Techworld, a division of market research and analysis provider The NPD Group. Views expressed in Switched On, however, are his own. Feedback is welcome at fliptheswitch@gmail.com.
On a less amusing note, we sell those nlow up chairs in comet and they are awful, worst £20 you can possibly spend, unless you want some cheapvibrating pads for an electronics project.
Hilairious. I love the Phoebe Cates reference.
you should have used e.l.o's "don't bring me down"
Any inflatables that you WOULD recommend? :0
That's ridiculous. I hate to break it to you, but this is my site, and I can delete any comment for any reason. I'm not obligated to even have comments on here in the first place, and I'm certainly not obligated to give ANYONE, including you, a platform. It takes one minute to start a new blog, so if you have something really important to say, say it over there. No one has an inviolable right to comment on Engadget.