OJ Simpson docked 25k for pirating DirecTV

In dude's latest civil court trial (can't he stay out of trouble?), OJ Simpson was found guilty… of pirating DirecTV. Yes, the swift wheels of justice have come down upon The Juice after his, um, 2001 bust for the gear. But hey, 25k is a lot easier to swallow than the 35m he had to pay that one time; and yet he announced that he'll appeal the decision anyway. If he didn't pirate, you must acquit!

[Via The Inq]

[james @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

when you get away with murder(if he did or didn't)..... why not stealing direct tv right? such a role model...

[Sy @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

more like "if he didn't pirate, you must not incarcerate"

[super_structure @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

has he since vowed to hunt for the real pirates?

[JK @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

god i miss the days of easy directv piracy.... thanks to their efforts in making is such a pain, i'm now a paying customer... of my local cable company. sorry dave!

[Zak @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

"the dude" had a triple lnb? snap.

[Martin @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

can we look forward to another "high speed" freeway chase in a ford bronco? i'd love to see that again.

[The Jeremy @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

i'm still stunned that more people haven't speculated that it was his adult son who did the big crime (not the directv pir8ing). the lapd was stupid for only investigating one of their suspects.

[Drewsef @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

"directv, its so good i had to steal it."

[OJ Simpson @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

it was not me! i will hunt down the real pirates!
right after a ditch the cops. they are chasing me in this stolen directv van i hocked.
-sent from my blackberry handheld

[Justin @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

i think it should go "if the dish don't fit, you must acquit."

[happy gilmore @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

seriously, you've got to be pretty stupid to get busted for "stealing" a satellite signal. he must have been running his mouth to one of his pals & they turned his ass in. tee hee!

[Ralph @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

tina fey did a great bit on snl news with this a while back (not verbatim):

"oj simpson was fined this week for stealing directv's satellite signal. [pause] in other news, directv has been stabbed to death."

[Ralph @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

tina fey did a great bit on snl news with this a while back (not verbatim):

"oj simpson was fined this week for stealing directv's satellite signal. [pause] in other news, directv has been stabbed to death."

[Mike Hammer @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

"the killer" got away with two murders however he could not escape the clutches of "dave"
anyor have a code for the p4? my dish is rotting on the roof!

[Thomas Hanley @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

he must not have got in his pension from the nfl the sports pack...

[Mike Hammer @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

"the killer" got away with two murders however he could not escape the clutches of "dave"
anyor have a code for the p4? my dish is rotting on the roof!

[scaryface @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

...time to revive Johnny Cochran.

[Steve @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

The bastard gets away with MURDER, only to get tripped-up by the TV cops?! That's rich!

[Steve @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

The bastard gets away with MURDER, only to get tripped-up by the TV cops?! That's rich!

[Dave E @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

"OJ Simpson was found guilty� of pirating DirecTV".

If the glove...errr shoe fits....wear it. ;)

[Shaven Yak @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

Did anyone take the time to do the math here? A human life is worth only 700x as much as a few months' worth of satellite TV, according to our justice system. That's fscked up.

He should be in prison for the rest of his life for those murders in addition to the $35 mill for their families. And the fine for the DirectTV theft should have been at most 3x the value of programming stolen.

"If the dish don't fit, you must acquit!" Exactly what I thought.

[Dennis @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

I thought I was the only one that got busted. Of course, Dave's scary lawyer letters coincided with a move to another part of the country. I've "disappeared" for the time being. What is that statute of limitations on something like that?

[Mario G. Nitrini 111 @ Dec 19th 2005 1:02AM]

I Was Personally Involved in The OJ Simpson Case. This Direct TV Case with OJ Simpson is NOTHING to what's legally Coming Involving Him and MANY People connected to His Criminal Trial and More.

Look for there to be a connection in The Notorious B.I.G. Federal Lawsuit and OJ Simpson Case Prosecution Lead Chaser Detective Ronald Y. Ito.

Look for there to be an Investigation into the Death (Murder) of Bill Wasz (His Kardashian Story).

Look for Anthony Pellicano's name to be connected to Several OJ Simpson Case People.

There is More.

Mario G. Nitrini 111