Caption contest: the last crusader astride his trusty Segway

Look, we don't know the where, we don't know the when, and we sure as hell don't know the why, but there's no way that's going to stop us from getting a few chuckles in at Mr. Segway Crusader's expense.

Ryan: "In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti, et Segway. Amen." or, "O blessed art thou Segway firmware upgrade, which keeps thyself upright."
Paul: "Orlando Bloom's got nothing on this"
Evan: "Wilford Brimley found out a little too late that habitual consumption of Quaker Oats can lead to insanity."
Chris: "With parallel parking in 13th-century Bethlehem virtually impossible to find, Bill found his handicapped permit priceless."
Conrad: "Maximus Decimus Meridius Segwius."

[Via Fark]

[eric lin @ Dec 27th 2006 2:32PM]

2 is the number of thine wheels and the number of wheels shall be two. not 3, nor 4. not 1, unless proceeded by 2. (yes, blatant python ripoff)

[iptydafu @ Dec 27th 2006 3:27PM]

Time-Traveling Born-Again Santa Endures Osteo-Arthritis to make Valuable Contribution at Local Street-Merchants' Assembly.

[NHAnimator @ Dec 27th 2006 3:30PM]

Does the handicapped symbol refer to the rider, or the Segway?

[LittleJoe @ Dec 27th 2006 3:31PM]

Segway Service Bulletin #4723

"Flux Capacitor (002) quality issues may result in the leaking of Einsteinium, resulting in excessive speeds and unwanted time travel. To resolve issue replace Flux Capacitor (002) with Flux Capacitor (003).

Rare cases where the Einsteinium leaks onto the passenger platform may result in Mental Retardation. If this is the case place Handicapped Parking Permit (034) on steering unit."

[Jeff @ Dec 27th 2006 3:38PM]

e tu' segway?

[Torben @ Dec 27th 2006 3:44PM]

Holy Roller?

[Davin W�rter @ Dec 27th 2006 3:44PM]

Paladin Chronos rushes to the aide of the fair maiden astride his Segway of Elven Kind.

[Kliend @ Dec 27th 2006 3:46PM]

These boots are so amazing I bought a segway to keep them nice.

[Jeff @ Dec 27th 2006 3:50PM]

Wilford Brimely in Passion of the Christ II.

[Harbinger @ Dec 27th 2006 3:50PM]

"Valkyrie...is about to die!"

[m4272000 @ Dec 27th 2006 3:50PM]

He'll be coming round the mountain when he come, he'll be coming round the mountain when...

[CT @ Dec 27th 2006 3:52PM]

Charlton Heston rallied his NRA friends once he saw this promotional photo from the 2007 re-make of Ben-Hur.

[John Doe @ Dec 27th 2006 3:55PM]

All I know is that I now want a remake of the Return of the King.

[m4272000 @ Dec 27th 2006 3:58PM]

That's a funny looking wheelchair for a handicap sticker. I can just see the violent argument breaking out when he tries to park his Segway into handicap space with a wheelchair logo on the ground.

[Sean P. Aune @ Dec 27th 2006 3:59PM]

Wilford Brimley circled the Wal-Mart lot for 7 centuries, and still no handicapped spots opened up.

[jacob alldredge @ Dec 27th 2006 4:10PM]

"Looks like you're looking for dragons... In the future."

[John Doe @ Dec 27th 2006 4:13PM]

I came, I saw, I co...
oh look, a segway
Did you forget your ritalin today, johnny?

[Ken Pietrus @ Dec 27th 2006 4:15PM]

Santa Claus checking who's naughty or nice during the "off-season."

[cgi @ Dec 27th 2006 4:15PM]

Steve Jobs attempts to lose the Federalies and enters the Renaissance Festival in disguise.

[Phil @ Dec 27th 2006 4:17PM]

Segway Human Transporter: $5000

Ticket to the Renaissance Fair: $40

Crusader costume: $100

Having that extra height to stare down the maidens' cleavage: Priceless

[Tavis Veighey @ Dec 27th 2006 4:24PM]

Look the new POPE MOBILE is being tested!

[Rob @ Dec 27th 2006 4:30PM]

A Segway, a Segway. My kingdom for my Segway.

[Wonderer @ Dec 27th 2006 4:31PM]

Get out of my way! Bingo starts early tonight!

[Ray-- @ Dec 27th 2006 4:32PM]

"in other news... mentally handicapped stickers are being beta tested all over Europe...."

[John Doe @ Dec 27th 2006 4:33PM]

Carth are for babieth!
real gamerth ride thegwayth!

[TheBoneMagic @ Dec 27th 2006 4:37PM]

They see me rollin', they hatin', patrollin' and tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty.

[Type11 @ Dec 27th 2006 4:38PM]

Starting to wonder if drinking from that grail was really such a good idea...

[Boynamedsue @ Dec 27th 2006 4:49PM]

anyone ever feel that caption contests are more painful than funny?

usually when someone considers themselves a great wit, they're only half right.

[Rob @ Dec 27th 2006 4:49PM]

Santa Claus decided a new ride deserved a new costume. Somehow his tribute to the "true" meaning of Christmas and his desire for new gadgets got seriously mixed up.

[Jiayan Xiang @ Dec 27th 2006 5:06PM]

Apparently, Da Vinci Code, the sequel, didn't get the budget that it needed...

[Isaac @ Dec 27th 2006 5:16PM]

Finally, the new ultra rare Paladin epic mount being introduced in the Burning Crusade expansion is revealed.

[Asher M. @ Dec 27th 2006 5:28PM]

How about the following caption:

The Last Crusade: The "New" Siege of Jerusalem

[Drexl @ Dec 27th 2006 5:44PM]

... and he tenderly grasped the cross on his robes and called out to God as he gasped his last few breaths of air while he choked on his cape stuck on the wheels of his horseless charriot.

[Elliott @ Dec 27th 2006 5:49PM]

Jesus, after performing this miracle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qiaaiP_cGo

[Rob @ Dec 27th 2006 6:13PM]

"Dude, I am so high right now."

[Rob @ Dec 27th 2006 6:29PM]

Seqway owners not only have to endure the ridicule of others for simply looking nerdy, now they have to wear a target on their chest.

[PeterS @ Dec 27th 2006 6:36PM]

lol littlejoe, thats was sort of what i was going to write, heh

[Michael Gallegos @ Dec 27th 2006 6:38PM]

The leader of the crusaders for the Pope, show of their new attack vehicle.

[Manny @ Dec 27th 2006 6:39PM]

WITCH ITS A WITCH OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!!!

[sgt_easton @ Dec 27th 2006 6:58PM]

Apparently Friar Jim thinks he can still play his Handicapped card at the renaissance festival.

[whiskey @ Dec 27th 2006 7:09PM]

"Quo vadis?"
"Seg-Way"

[Depricated @ Dec 27th 2006 7:28PM]

Sorry I'm late, traffic was a pain...uh...guys? Hello?

[Chris @ Dec 27th 2006 7:45PM]

"Look, we don't know the where, we don't know the when, why..."

Where: Northern California Renaissance
When: Sep 9th to Oct 15th 2006 (I recall it was one of the last weekends)
Why: Who knows, but I remimber seeing him...

[b-ri @ Dec 27th 2006 8:02PM]

"I'm with the hero of time, he always brings me gifts, not like that Princess Zelda."

[Robert Cable @ Dec 27th 2006 8:07PM]

Now, off to the crusades!

[Robert @ Dec 27th 2006 8:11PM]

"THE POWER OF CHRIST PROPELS YOU!!!"

[Neebs @ Dec 28th 2006 1:14PM]

YOU WIN.

[Robert @ Dec 28th 2006 1:42PM]

of course I do... now what was the prize? It was a million dollars... right?

(catch the reference? anyone? anyone?)

[Keith @ Dec 27th 2006 8:20PM]

Grandmaster, Order of the Rosy Segway

[v_dogg @ Dec 27th 2006 8:28PM]

so does he get to park in the 500 square foot handicap spots at walmart?