Caption contest: the last crusader astride his trusty Segway
By Paul Miller 
posted Dec 27th 2006 3:10PM
posted Dec 27th 2006 3:10PM
Ryan: "In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti, et Segway. Amen." or, "O blessed art thou Segway firmware upgrade, which keeps thyself upright."
Paul: "Orlando Bloom's got nothing on this"
Evan: "Wilford Brimley found out a little too late that habitual consumption of Quaker Oats can lead to insanity."
Chris: "With parallel parking in 13th-century Bethlehem virtually impossible to find, Bill found his handicapped permit priceless."
Conrad: "Maximus Decimus Meridius Segwius."
[Via Fark]
2 is the number of thine wheels and the number of wheels shall be two. not 3, nor 4. not 1, unless proceeded by 2. (yes, blatant python ripoff)
Santa Claus decided a new ride deserved a new costume. Somehow his tribute to the "true" meaning of Christmas and his desire for new gadgets got seriously mixed up.
Wilford Brimley circled the Wal-Mart lot for 7 centuries, and still no handicapped spots opened up.
Time-Traveling Born-Again Santa Endures Osteo-Arthritis to make Valuable Contribution at Local Street-Merchants' Assembly.
"After Christmas, Santa goes on vacation, to a place where he isn't known."
OR: "On Rosanante, onward."
Does the handicapped symbol refer to the rider, or the Segway?
Segway Service Bulletin #4723
"Flux Capacitor (002) quality issues may result in the leaking of Einsteinium, resulting in excessive speeds and unwanted time travel. To resolve issue replace Flux Capacitor (002) with Flux Capacitor (003).
Rare cases where the Einsteinium leaks onto the passenger platform may result in Mental Retardation. If this is the case place Handicapped Parking Permit (034) on steering unit."
Bring out yer dead.
e tu' segway?
Paladin Chronos rushes to the aide of the fair maiden astride his Segway of Elven Kind.
Holy Roller?
These boots are so amazing I bought a segway to keep them nice.
lol littlejoe, thats was sort of what i was going to write, heh
"Valkyrie...is about to die!"
He'll be coming round the mountain when he come, he'll be coming round the mountain when...
Wilford Brimely in Passion of the Christ II.
Charlton Heston rallied his NRA friends once he saw this promotional photo from the 2007 re-make of Ben-Hur.
All I know is that I now want a remake of the Return of the King.
That's a funny looking wheelchair for a handicap sticker. I can just see the violent argument breaking out when he tries to park his Segway into handicap space with a wheelchair logo on the ground.
so does he get to park in the 500 square foot handicap spots at walmart?
Renaissance Fair employee strangled to death when the cape he was wearing was ensnared in his Segway wheel. Just in time for the 2006 Darwin Awards.
"Looks like you're looking for dragons... In the future."
Steve Jobs attempts to lose the Federalies and enters the Renaissance Festival in disguise.
I came, I saw, I co...
oh look, a segway
Did you forget your ritalin today, johnny?
Santa Claus checking who's naughty or nice during the "off-season."
A Segway, a Segway. My kingdom for my Segway.
Too easy?
Arthur: We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Guard: What? Ridden on a horse?
Segway Human Transporter: $5000
Ticket to the Renaissance Fair: $40
Crusader costume: $100
Having that extra height to stare down the maidens' cleavage: Priceless
Seqway owners not only have to endure the ridicule of others for simply looking nerdy, now they have to wear a target on their chest.
5 seconds later bert's robe got caught in the wheels and catapulted him into the pope, causing much embarrassment for all parties
Look the new POPE MOBILE is being tested!
Blizzard shows off one of it's new ultra rare epic mounts coming soon in the Burning Crusade expansion.
Good thing I found this cape during the escape, these pysch ward gowns can get really drafty. And whoever this Ryan Block is he really should know better than to leave his segway running in a handicapped spot... SUCKER!
Get out of my way! Bingo starts early tonight!
"in other news... mentally handicapped stickers are being beta tested all over Europe...."
Starting to wonder if drinking from that grail was really such a good idea...
Carth are for babieth!
real gamerth ride thegwayth!
Sorry I'm late, traffic was a pain...uh...guys? Hello?
They see me rollin', they hatin', patrollin' and tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty.
Grandmaster, Order of the Rosy Segway
anyone ever feel that caption contests are more painful than funny?
usually when someone considers themselves a great wit, they're only half right.
"Vernon is an innovative modern day crusader. He found that he could slay twice as many heretics with a Segway under foot. Naturally, the Pope has been distributing more and more Segways to his intercity operatives."
"Onward Christian soldiers marching...... Ah, Shit!!! Varro, where the hell are the horses for this flaming chariot!!!!"
Now with convenient bag for carrying the heads of non believers.
Apparently, Da Vinci Code, the sequel, didn't get the budget that it needed...
Apparently Friar Jim thinks he can still play his Handicapped card at the renaissance festival.
Ni!
Finally, the new ultra rare Paladin epic mount being introduced in the Burning Crusade expansion is revealed.
How about the following caption:
The Last Crusade: The "New" Siege of Jerusalem
... and he tenderly grasped the cross on his robes and called out to God as he gasped his last few breaths of air while he choked on his cape stuck on the wheels of his horseless charriot.