Look, we don't know the where, we don't know the when, and we sure as hell don't know the why, but there's no way that's going to stop us from getting a few chuckles in at Mr. Segway Crusader's expense.

Ryan: "In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti, et Segway. Amen." or, "O blessed art thou Segway firmware upgrade, which keeps thyself upright."
Paul: "Orlando Bloom's got nothing on this"
Evan: "Wilford Brimley found out a little too late that habitual consumption of Quaker Oats can lead to insanity."
Chris: "With parallel parking in 13th-century Bethlehem virtually impossible to find, Bill found his handicapped permit priceless."
Conrad: "Maximus Decimus Meridius Segwius."

[Via Fark]

Replacement Wii straps arrive