Breakfast Topic: Patch 2.U

Another patch has gone up on the PTR, bringing new visions of a possible future for World of Warcraft players. We've read a lot of patch notes in our time, agonized over what nerfs might be coming to our class, and waited with great anticipation new features and dungeons. Once we even saw how to write patch notes of our own!

So now, imagine if you will, that you have the golden opportunity to design a future WoW patch, creatively entitled "Patch 2.U." You are now the temporary chief of the Blizzard Development team. You sit in your throne room and dictate what the contents of the next patch will be!... But only for about 5 minutes -- then you have to step down from your throne and put the chief's hat on the next person in line. Then that person gets to dictate the patch notes, making any changes they see fit.

Let's say you can choose 5 items for your own personal patch notes here; what changes or new features would be most important to you? If you see any changes from commenters above you which you absolutely can't abide, feel free to change them back. This will probably give us an example of the absolute chaos this game would be if players were actually in charge, but it could be pretty interesting. Be sure to check out the "Guide to Writing Fake Patch Notes," and then... patch away!

[Patch note funnies by Penny Arcade!]