Promotional Consideration: Beaning the Red Army
Promotional Consideration is a weekly feature about the Nintendo DS advertisements you usually flip past, change the channel on, or just tune out.
With Arc System Works and Milliom [sic] laboring together on a return for the Nekketsu High School Dodgeball Club, we finally have an excuse to bring out our favorite ads for the Super Dodgeball series. Put on your gym clothes, tighten your shoelaces, and run past the break to see what we've been waiting to hit you with.
"THRASH, BASH, AND SMASH THE COMPETITION"
Running jump. Characters flicker. A floating angel.
The halftone background, wacky logo, and staggering stumblebum don't stray far from the game's boxart, but it's the copy at the bottom that wins us, telling the story of six unlikely heroes. They might not have the experience and raw power of their opponents, but they sure as hell have heart: Together, they'll be able to take on the world.
"Team USA is on its way to a Cinderella success story in the Super Dodge Ball World Cup Championships. From out of nowhere, this scrappy bunch of rookies is advancing to the final round of competition. But, seven powerful teams still stand between Team USA and their ultimate challenge: The long awaited grudge match with the undefeated, defending world champions, Team Russia. Only you can lead the U.S. to victory over the highly-favored competition, and give them the chance to crush the mighty Soviets."
Though many attribute the Soviet Union's collapse and the end of the Cold War to former President Ronald Reagan's diplomacy or Rocky Balboa's victory over Ivan Drago in Rocky IV, it would be foolish to discount Super Dodgeball's significance in the matter. It was Mike's quick hands that negotiated the Kenyan Stinger Crisis. Team USA leader Sam worked hard to earn the respect and trust of the Chinese with his Blaster Throw. Sony Imagesoft published Super Dodgeball in North America for the NES in July, 1989, and five months later, the Berlin Wall fell.
The original Japanese release, Nekketsu Koukou Dodgeball Bu, lacked the anti-communism propaganda our version had, replacing Team Russia with Team USA as the endgame villains. Funny how that works out.
These next two commercials are for Kunio-Kun no Dodge Ball Da Yo: Zenin Shuugo, Super Dodgeball's 1993 follow-up for the Super Famicom and a title that unfortunately never made it to the states. We would apologize for the low video quality of the clips, but it's more than made up for by their awesomeness.
Let these videos be a lesson to you all: Don't go around bullying flowers and octopi. Also, you look like a total d-bag with that gelled-up hairstyle.
[Via River City High School and The Nekketsu Typhoon]
