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Guildwatch: The march of war

Mike Schramm
Updated ·7 min read


Warning: The recruitment video above, for Rogues Take Zero Skill on Arthas-H, contains at least one bad word, and may also contain simulated illegal and immoral activity. Those under the age of 18 or with strong sensibilities need not watch it. Everyone else can watch a great guild recruitment video and laugh.

This week's Guildwatch contains your weekly dose of drama, downed news, and recruiting notices, and starts right after the jump. Send tips to wowguildwatch@gmail.com. Just like RTZS, we're taking over the world!


DRAMA

  • The guildleader of Ale Brigade on Alleria-A tells us with sadness that it's time to stick a fork in the guild-- it's done. He calls it an "alt parking lot," and says that there was plenty of drama, but "nothing your readers would find interesting." Au contraire, mon ami. GW's readers find all drama interesting. Tell us what happened!

  • Tim Small, who didn't actually tell us his guild, but calls himself "the self appointed Master of Cheese," tells us a little secret about the Maiden. Look under her chin-- there's an Adam's Apple! She's a man, baby! I know, that's terrible drama, but hey this is what people send me.

  • This is amazing-- Belakor, Warrior, raidleader, and officer of Shattered Legacy on Gnomeregan was also the guild master looter, put in charge of handling all DKP transactions and disenchants. Only it just so happens that a few of the items he was supposed to be disenchanting happened to end up in his DPS gear. Funny. Don't miss the official comment from the guild at the bottom of the first page-- "nothing to see here, move along."

  • I wouldn't have thought it possible for a kitten picture thread to devolve into a drama argument, but Ooktar of Squad 36 on Scarlet Crusade (he said we should name him) proved me wrong by showing me this thread. Sure enough, it starts with kitten pictures, turns into a "this guild sucks" rant, and then ends on the next page with an "official farewell letter, and by the end of the thread, Ars Brute Squad on Chromaggus isn't the guild it used to be. Bonus points for whoever posted the IIM, you win the thread.

  • Plan B appeared in our drama column last week, and they're in our downed column again this week, but here they are back again in drama, and it's Malcin yet again FTW. Apparently one of them accepted a loan from Malcin (why would you do that?) and he's back in the thread quoting Oliver Wendell Holmes. This has to be a joke, right? Either Plan B is just jerking Malcin around, or Malcin is just excited about all the attention. Come to think of it, maybe both.

  • This forum thread is actually a repost (those posts were written by Lecrow, and Grimtooth just reposted them for our pleasure), and while part of me wants to actually understand what this is all about, another part of me just basks in the craziness of those huge chunks of text and stands in awe at the kind of weird feelings that inspire such writing. Amazing.

DOWNED

  • Chaotic Precision and FUBAR on Frostmane-H teamed up like a bunch of superheroes and downed High King Maulgar. Grats!

  • Plan B on Shattered Halls wants us to know that despite the drama reports from last week, they're still rolling along just fine. They've rocked Al'ar, Loot Reaver (ha, their joke, not mine), and Lurker for server firsts, and Mag and Fathom-Lord for server seconds. Rock on for surviving the drama bomb.

  • Haven on EU Azjol-Nerub are also alumni from our drama column, and they write that they've downed Al'ar and Solarian. Former drama guilds making good! Grats!

  • Foundation on Dentarg killed Lurker dead. Nice job!

  • Stormwardens on Dragonmaw-A not only finished off Gruul's Lair, but they also cleared Molten Core and picked up Thunderfury for the MT! Grats!

  • Ascendo Tuum on Eitrigg-A kicked Solarian's Astromancer butt. Did you get what I did there with the "kicked his as.. tromancer butt"? Get it? Funny, right?

  • Jaded Retribution on Mugthol-H downed Kael'thas.

  • Celestial Reign on Spinebreaker had Void Reaver enrage on them, but the DPS stepped it up and killed him 18 seconds in the enrage. Those kills are always fun, aren't they? This is the best one ever.

  • "No saucy drama," they say (too bad), but Shenanigans on Jubei'thos writes to say that they killed Void Reaver.

  • Another old world raid-- Much Too Much joined the Gnomish Trenchermen, The Grim Covenant, and a few other PuGs on Venture Co.-A to take down Patchwerk, Grobbulus, and Anub'rehkan in Naxx. They even had a Splinter drop.

  • Dragon Army on Alexstrasza-A killed Lurker and are now recruiting Druids, Paladins, and Shaman. Karathress is on notice!

  • Our friends at Soulbound have dropped the Lurker as well. Did you guys not know the Lurker is on the Endangered List? You'll be getting a strongly worded letter from both PETA and the WWF.

  • Relentless on Scryers-A finished off both Illhoof and Netherspite. Nightbane is on notice!

  • The Astral Order on Eldrethelas sent notice to Kil'jaeden that his son, Prince Malchezaar, unfortunately met his fate at their hands. They're also recruiting healing Priests.

  • Consilio et Armis (which apparently stands for Council and Arms) on Rexxar-A downed both the Lurker and Loot Reaver. Grats!

  • Rockin' week for The Departed on Kul Tiras-- they dropped Rage, Anetheron, and Kaz'rogal in their first week in Hyjal. Sweet!

  • Knights of the Runes on Azjol-Nerub-A killed the Lurker and Hydross! And then got slaughtered by Morogrim, but they're optimistic-- he's on notice.

RECRUITING

  • Knightmare on Sargeras is recruiting raiders to roll into endgame content with them. They're led by Haarold and Kuumar, and with names like those, I wonder why they're not called Knights of the White Castle (you guys can have that name for free-- I just made it up).

  • Legend is a casual but dedicated guild on EU Tarren Mill that's looking to fill out a second Karazhan group (and send 10 of their players to ZA, too). Please be attuned and outfitted in mid-Karazhan gear (6+ epics already).

  • One on EU Nordrassil has cleared Karazhan after only 9 days, and they're recruiting healers for another go (and I assume, for the rest of the endgame).

  • How many Kara groups do you think one guild can run? Brotherhood of Ronin on Dalvengyr-A says they've got four Karazhan groups going, but they need a little help to fill the fourth out. Guys, after four groups, don't you think you should try, oh I don't know, running something else?

  • Dead Poets Society on Durotar-H is recruiting for a second Karazhan team and 25 man content. They're rocking through Karazhan, too-- they've downed all the way up to Prince.

  • Savage Eidolon (I don't know what it means, and I'm too lazy to Google it, but the name is cool sounding enough to win Best Guild Name of the week!) on Eonar is recruiting all classes levels 15 to 70 (they're "bringing fun back to the grind," they say) for good times and Karazhan group 2. They especially need Mages and Hunters, so you DPS types, go find them.

  • Sanctum Officium is looking for more for 25 man content. They're on EU Die Ewige Wacht, which, if my German is up to the task (Schramm is my last name, after all), means The Night Watch, and they're looking for German speakers to join.

  • Natural Selection on Greymane HORDE! (their exclamation, but I agree-- Blood and Thunder!) downed Vashj, putting them "halfway to Hyjal"-- which would make a great name for a Phil Collins-type album. Someone photoshop me an album cover for next week. Oh, and NS says Kael: you're next, chief.

  • Vindictive of Skullcrusher is looking specifically for offspecs to help them finish up SSC and TK-- get your vials while you still can, folks! They're going to Hyjal and BT very soon.

  • Rogues Take Zero Skill is recruiting on Arthas-H, and I just can't say it like their video above.

That's it for this week's GW! Be sure to send us your tips as always-- wowguildwatch@gmail.com be the address. Until next week, happy raiding, and we'll see you in Zul'Aman!