This just in... three undergraduate students are thought to be missing after entering a mysterious green pipe; installed in the east wing of Yale University Library early Monday morning. A handwritten note taped to the pipe reads: To Level 8-1. Elsewhere, a University of Texas sophomore claims to have encountered a spike-shelled, fire-spewing creature guarding the school's Rare Book archive, though she later admitted to ingesting a large mushroom found stashed behind some Mycology texts. When asked why she ate the mushroom, the young woman said she was told it would help her reach the books on the top shelf. A campus official noted that librarians had recently removed all stepladders from the premises.