The saddest part of the satire image above (via The Onion) is that they actually manage to match the correct controller with the right game. That's more than we can say about many of the non-satirical articles. Check out the highlights for this weekend:

Joystiquery
Happy Birthday PS3: The cake is (not) a lie
Japanese hardware sales, Nov. 5 - Nov. 11: Twice in a lifecycle edition
Metareview: Mass Effect (Xbox 360)
Microsoft's Bach sees no competition for Xbox Live
Today's most hilariously atrocious video: M&M's Kart Racing
Today's most vulgar videos: Jam Sessions' instant rockstar
Weekly Webcomic Wrapup celebrates Dueling Analogs' 2nd birthday

News
Time Crisis 4 video shows new FPS mode, unskilled player
You can kill Uwe Boll in Postal 3
Super Mario Galaxy highest rated game of all time
Interview with Rat Race creators
Chain Factor: Addictive Puzzle Game, Numb3rs ARG
New Avatar game awards 1K gamerpoints in 2 minutes
CoD4 overtakes Gears of War, Infinity Ward planning update
Watch two new PS3 ads
CAG's Black Friday video game deals
Washington Post expects Wii Zapper backlash, too gun-like
Ninja Gaiden demo at DS Download Stations, but not in our homes
Sony cuts PS3 dev kit price in half
Microsoft aiming for Nintendo's family market
New games this week: Cornucopia edition
House of the Dead 2 & 3 Wii-vival official, co-op confirmed
Wrecking Crew, Sonic 3D Blast, Super Air Zonk on Virtual Console today
Mass Effect soundtrack due November 20
Halo 3 'Heroic Map Pack' available on Dec. 11
Nintendo's making 1.8 million Wiis every month
Nintendo Wii celebrates 1st birthday
This Wednesday: Undertow washes ashore on XBLA island
10 free XBLA games for new European Xbox 360 owners and a friend
German school licenses Crysis engine for courses
'Doritos Dash of Destruction' coming to XBLA (unfortunately)
Microsoft's Bach sees no competition for Xbox Live
Halo: Contact Harvest lands #3 on NY Times list
Codemasters pushed into record year by US sales
Rock Band rejects PS3's Guitar Hero controller

Rumors & Speculation
1UP goes for two-fer, hints that Shane Kim is leaving MS

Culture & Community
NY Times compares SimCity Societies, Inconvenient Truth
Sci vs. Fi: Mass Effect airing Tuesday
Video game anagrams bring joy to our hearts
Capcom's Ace Attorney lolcat contest brings the lulz
Get out of Zebes! Prime Samus Aran cosplay
A heart-wrenching tale about Animal Crossing
Study shows casual gamers interested in Halo 3

This article was originally published on Joystiq.

Live at the midtown NYC Rock Band launch